Hi, I am 26 years old and My mom (41) suffers from Relapsing-Remitting MS. She was diagnosed in 2016. It has been a very difficult time. My father, my brother and I try to take care of her. I drove her to and back from work for the last 2 years. My brother picks up her medicine at the hospital, my dad drives her to her doctor’s appointments and she usually has people around helping her and doing things for her.
Before MS she was already in bad shape, she is probably 35 kilos overweight. She works as a secretary in a Public kindergarten and her job pays for all her MS treatment, medicine, and tests. She will have to continue working for 4 more years if she wants to keep her job benefits. (we live in Mexico).
In the last year or so we have noticed that she has a lot of issues at work…she has switched schools three times already because of conflicts with the other staff at the school she worked. Right now she is having problems again, really stupid things like her superiors scolding her because she doesn’t have a positive and cooperative attitude at work…and that she is rude to her colleagues.
I don’t know how much of this is true since I am not there. What I do know is that many people don’t know what is MS and since they see that my mom can walk, move, speak and do just about anything that a normal person can, they might not think it’s a big deal.
The thing is, my mom is unbearable at home. I am not talking about helping her around. What I mean is that she has become a little-spoiled kid. She doesn’t exercise, she lays in bed most of the day, she is always watching videos on her phone, she eats junk food, she is rude to everyone, even our relatives, says things that are out of place or a little sensitive to talk about. She now speaks with her mouth full, she is very loud and likes to piss people off.
I can’t deal with her anymore, not like this. We have bought a treadmill, a bicycle and a little yoga mat for her to exercise but she doesn’t. we beg her to come to do exercise with us but she always says she is tired and she had a long day. We ask her to read a book, draw, assemble a puzzle or just to go out and walk with us in the park but she says she is tired and she won’t do what we want her to do.
She is just not the woman I knew as my mom. She was a professional who cared about her image and was very smart and fun to hang out with. She has become a totally different person. She has problems with me, my brother, my dad, my grandparents, my aunts, and uncles just because she likes to piss everyone off by saying things that are not supposed to be said…I think she is trying to get attention, even if it’s negative.
The other day, my uncle arrived from Peru to see us. He came to our house and my mom was in her room just laying in bed watching youtube videos. My uncle walked in and stayed for about an hour telling us about his trip, showing us pictures and he brought us souvenirs. my mom got up, sat at the table with my uncle and while my uncle talked she just looked at her phone the whole hour scrolling through the video suggestions on youtube and checking her facebook. She barely even nodded. My uncle was talking to her by the way…not me. I had to jump in the conversation to show my uncle that at least I was listening. All my mom ever said was “Yeah, that’s interesting but my arm hurts”. she said it like 10 times. When my uncle left she got up, made herself a coffee and started watching videos again. never complained about her arm hurting again.
I am really desperate because this situation seems to be tearing us apart as a family. My dad’s ready to leave, my brother left. I want to go as far as possible. Trust me, we have helped her and supported her as much as a person can, but it seems she just wants to stay in her room for the rest of her life.
Has anyone had a similar situation? maybe other people with MS could tell me what is going on with my mom and maybe I could help her become a better person and stay healthy.
Let me just say that if you see my mom she looks normal as if she wasn’t suffering from MS. She can walk normally, talk normally,sees perfectly. I know she might be struggling inside but she seems to just be fine most of the time.