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    • #16273
      Jacqueline
      Participant

      One thing that I find harder, yet often gets overlooked as we are so concentrating on ourselves is, not only living with our MS but living with our partner and coping with his illness – illnesses – medical hospital procures – hospital operations and so forth…The person I am living with is soon to be having a Coronary Angiogram procedure , soon followed by Open Heart Surgery. So who will be looking after whom?

    • #16274
      Debi Wilson
      Member

      Great topic, Jackie. I asked that same question “  Who will take care of whom”  when my husband was ill. I did a lot of his care but luckily my daughter helped a lot too!I hope you will be able to get some help!

       

    • #16285
      Jacqueline
      Participant

      Yes it can become role reversal, maybe just for the short few weeks or for the long-term. We have to be concerned for something that may or may not happen, look ahead maybe and plan for our future.

      Debi, he tells me he is expected to be in hospital for 7 or maybe 10 days, I have never been alone with this MS, nor so far away from our previous location so I have to think of me, whether I can realistically manage in this home by myself or whether to place myself for those days into some type of a care home is of course another option, or get myself a home ” lifeline ” alarm. Plus there is our dog to consider he misses him when he is out for a few hours shopping, lol. He is not a paid carer but he is always there for me, kindof take him for granted to be truthful.

      Debi, life for you could not have been easy for you but a must. I have come across MS members at my MS Society who are carers for their hubby, I often have wondered how on earth they manage when it is obvious they need caring for too.

       

       

    • #16288
      Debi Wilson
      Member

      Is there anyone that can stay with you, or a paid caregiver? I hope you can work  out something where you don’t have to stay alone.

      No, it was not easy helping to take of my husband, but I’m glad I did. I know I did the best I could do.

    • #16292
      Jacqueline
      Participant

      Debi, apologies, I didn’t mean not easy being your hubby’s caregiver, that was something that was expected of you come what may, something you was more than willing to have done for him, but I meant, not easy for you now, since your darling hubby has parted, of which I am so sorry for your loss.

      Firstly they want to monitor his iron levels before they think of doing the open heart surgery, he had been anaemic but recently had an iron infusion.

      • #16296
        Debi Wilson
        Member

        No need to apologize, Jackie, I just misunderstood . Yes, it has been a tough adjustment, and I miss my husband. I can’t believe how fast time has went, it was a year ago in December!

        Its good they are making sure he is in the best condition possible before surgery. I will pray for him and you for strength through this difficult time.

         

    • #16302
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I worry about that also.  I share a place with my 67 year old roomate.  I have no children to help me, no family here, both my older sisters live in other cities.  It freaks me out sometimes, the not knowing what else can happen.  Wonderful future to look forward too, not.

    • #16314
      Jacqueline
      Participant

      Jilly, I feel the same as you do. I have been living comfortable, even if unhappily, with him for so long, ( taking him for granted as always there ) I know that bubble is going to burst at some point, then what do I do? Like you, miles away from where we once lived, his and my family, even if I am estranged from my family, my soon to be 50 year old daughter, my only child. Just the basics of packing up stuff in removal boxes scares me, or living here when w have an electricity power cut, or the computer packs up, being in control of the bills, he has always been the one to get on the phone to deal with it. I was always a tough one when it came to hands on work, I was never afraid of mucking in, just cant do that anymore, oh my mind still says I can but my body lets me down as says I cant.

      • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Jacqueline.
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