The heat has always been a part of my life in central Texas, whether I liked it or not. Every year, it seemed to linger for longer than most people would have liked. When I was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis, I realized the heat was definitely not…
Authentically Human - a Column by Desiree Lama
I was introduced to the spoon theory not long ago in a graduate school class. The spoon theory, created by lupus patient Christine Miserandino, utilizes a kitchen utensil to illustrate the energy budget of a person living with a disability or chronic illness, which helps quantify…
The holidays tend to arrive with a mix of excitement and stress, even for people without a chronic illness. But for those of us living with multiple sclerosis (MS), the season can feel like its own kind of marathon, full of expectations, overscheduling, symptoms that flare when we least…
On Sunday, Nov. 2, daylight saving time ended, our clocks “falling back” an hour. This time of year is difficult for many because the sun sets earlier and the evenings are darker. This can contribute to seasonal depression for a lot of people. However, I experience the opposite. Long before…
As I sit down at my desk to write this, tears are streaming down my face. My mind, soul, body, and heart are beyond wounded from living with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis (MS). This burden that I bear has taken a toll on me like nothing else. I ask myself,…
Living with multiple sclerosis (MS) often means constantly balancing what your body needs with what your life demands. Some days you’re managing symptoms like fatigue, while other days you’re trying to keep up with work, relationships, and other responsibilities that don’t pause for flare-ups or doctor appointments. Amid all…
Living with multiple sclerosis (MS) can sometimes feel like living with a trickster who changes the rules without warning just to amuse himself. One day, you are walking fine, and the next, your legs feel like they’ve been replaced with overcooked spaghetti. There’s fatigue, brain fog, and…
Life with multiple sclerosis (MS) is unpredictable, involving many unknowns. Symptoms can come and go, flare up without warning, and affect every aspect of our health, from movement to memory. Managing MS is already a full-time job, and the added weight of life’s uncertainties often makes it even more…
I tend to bite off more than I can chew because I think I can do it all. News flash: I can’t! But I’ll do my best to try to do it all, even under the constraints of living with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis. As a 20-something, I don’t want…
A couple months ago, my partner and I took a 5-week-old kitten into our home. The decision was somewhat impulsive because we didn’t intend to adopt a kitten. We’d wanted an adult cat, because we were concerned that my resident cat, Lucky, wouldn’t take well to a new friend.
Have you ever been on a flight of stairs and misjudged the height of the steps, causing you to lose your footing? That happens to me more than I’d like to admit. This misjudgment stems from our depth perception, which is our ability to view the world in three dimensions,…
Before 2016, I didn’t need to take any prescription medications, at least not regularly. But during my first episode of optic neuritis and a few years later, after my diagnosis of relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis, I was forced to create a new habit. During that first episode of optic…
Along with creating memories with loved ones and exploring new places, traveling can be exhausting. There’s packing beforehand, scheduling itineraries, and then the actual traveling, whether it’s on the road or in the air. It can be especially challenging for people living with multiple sclerosis (MS). As I write…
Comparison is generally considered an innate human tendency, whether we realize it or not. And it’s not necessarily a negative phenomenon, though we often think of it that way. However, comparison does have the potential to be a complex emotional process, especially in the context of living with multiple…
Dear current me, Not that long ago, I wrote a letter to our younger self, newly diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis (MS). That letter was intended to let her know that her diagnosis was not the end-all, be-all and wouldn’t take away from the beautiful and…
The summer months and the central Texas heat have arrived, and I feel indifferent about them. As someone with multiple sclerosis (MS) who experiences related heat intolerance, I try to avoid spending an extended amount of time outside. That saddens me because most of the summer fun occurs outdoors.
Bouts of heightened anxiety come in forceful waves and hit me like a freight train. I live with a baseline level of anxiety, but at times, it worsens for no specific reason. All I know is that it’s one of the worst feelings. Anxiety is a common phenomenon in…
One of the most essential parts of living with multiple sclerosis (MS) is building support systems. They offer practical help, but better yet, they also consider and foster our emotional survival. MS is full of unknowns and can thus be characterized as unpredictable. But one thing we can predict…
Of all of the cognitive functions that multiple sclerosis (MS) can affect, memory and processing issues have been my primary burdens. I’ve found them difficult to navigate and manage, especially when others don’t fully understand the extent to which they affect me. My MS-related cognitive impairments have resulted…
On May 10, surrounded by my loved ones, I received my Master of Arts in educational psychology from the University of Texas at Austin. As I heard the words of love and encouragement from my family and friends, I realized just how difficult my educational journey has been because of…
Before I received my relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis (MS) diagnosis in 2016, I underwent a standard MRI exam, with and without contrast, that scanned my brain, thorax, and cervical spine. I’d never had an MRI before this one. I was vaguely familiar with what the machine looked like, but it’s…
I remember the day of my relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis diagnosis, when I didn’t understand the weight of what I’d been told. I was only 17 years old and didn’t know what questions to ask, what the future held, or what I should’ve felt after hearing those words. Aside from feeling…
I knew that starting my college journey in a a different city, less than a year after receiving my relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis (RRMS) diagnosis, would be challenging because I didn’t fully understand what was happening in my body. Even though my college, the University of Texas at Austin,…
Note: This column describes the author’s own experiences with oxybutynin. Not everyone will have the same response to treatment. Consult your doctor before starting or stopping a therapy. A few years ago, I spent the summer at my mom’s apartment because I’d been living in college dorms and my semester…
My cat, Lucky, runs behind me every morning and night as I walk to the kitchen cabinet for his food and treats. He meows nonstop and gazes up at me with his pleading doe eyes, convinced that I’m taking way too long to feed him. I make my way…
The beginning of the new year is an opportunity for a fresh start, change, and personal growth. Even before I was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis, I struggled deeply to allow myself moments of rest and peace, and that continues today. I’m aware of those struggles, but until now…
Being born and raised in south-central Texas, I’m no stranger to the heat here that dominates most of the year. But even after 25 years of living in Texas, I don’t think I’m used to it. While some people embrace and enjoy warmer weather, my body rejects it altogether, especially…
I was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis at 17 years old, during my senior year of high school. At that time, the diagnosis was the least of my worries because my top priorities were senior year activities and college preparation. The truth, however, was that I didn’t comprehend what…
For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to help others in any way I could. As early as middle school, I tried to identify a plausible and realistic career where I could fulfill this desire, and eventually landed on therapy as a possible career path. I wanted to…
In the middle of my freshman year of high school, I experienced a bad case of optic neuritis, which I now know was my first episode of multiple sclerosis (MS). According to my neuro-ophthalmologist, I was legally blind in my left eye. My vision was mostly recovered thanks to…