Chairborne — Ben Hofmeister

The other day, my middle child opened the door while I was in the bathroom. If you have children, a surprise visit in what should be a sanctuary isn’t unusual, but in this case, what he said was. He…

Before multiple sclerosis (MS), I was pretty proud of my memory. For the most part, I still am, but like many others with this disease, I now have trouble recalling information. For me, it’s one of the most…

As I’ve probably mentioned before, my wife and I have three boys in grade school. This means that between school events, sports, and play dates, I’m around a lot of kids. Considering I use a wheelchair, my…

The new year is just a few days away, so if you haven’t already, you might want to start thinking about resolutions, if you’re so inclined. Although I personally don’t bother these days, about half of American adults…

The holiday season is one of my favorite times of year. Multiple sclerosis (MS), of course, has a way of sucking the joy out of anything, but it can’t have my family’s Christmas. I might miss…

I had a glass of wine thrown in my face on the evening of my wedding anniversary. I was taken completely by surprise — well, maybe not completely. After all, the person who threw it has a reputation for…

They say that if you happen upon other people talking about you, you shouldn’t listen in. I have no idea who “they” are. I’ve searched for a quote to give someone the proper credit, but have had no luck.

Multiple sclerosis (MS) and a good night’s sleep seem to be mutually exclusive. I seriously doubt that anyone with MS will reply in the comments that the disease has blessed them with the best sleep of their lives.

Something is happening to me. All four limbs have become heavier than usual over the past two weeks. My arms and fingers are stiffer and less responsive, and I’ve somehow managed to effect a shuffling gait in my wheelchair.

While helping me get dressed this morning, my wife handed me a T-shirt from a dresser drawer across the room. It happened to be a shirt commemorating an event from my pre-multiple sclerosis (MS) past. It’s what you…

Every time I find myself in a multistory building, I end up on an elevator. It’s not as though I’m too lazy to take the stairs — well, OK, I am lazy — but in this case, it’s because…

There’s a slight chance that I might be stubborn. I don’t really see it, but my wife, parents, siblings, relatives, friends, and former teammates all seem to think so. I personally think that they’re mistaking my drive and strong…

School started last week for our three kids. They got to see friends from the last school year, meet their new teachers, and sit at a new desk in their new classrooms. Per tradition, there was no homework assigned…

If I were a superhero (or a supervillain, for that matter), I’d have an origin story. As it stands, I’m not even a minor hero in real life, and only a mediocre one when appearing in my own stories.

In my last column, I mentioned that I had an intrathecal baclofen pump. I’d make a bad pun, but I don’t have it in me. Spasticity, spasms, and hyperreflexivity were some of my first symptoms,…

“Thanks, I hate it.” Odd way to begin a column, I know. I suppose I’d better explain myself. That phrase regularly appears in memes and other pop culture media as an expression of dislike for an image or…

If you weren’t aware (I wasn’t), last Friday, June 17, was National Eat Your Vegetables Day. The day wasn’t created to tout any special diet per se, but to increase awareness of the benefits of vegetables in a…

I’m heading to the beach with my family soon. Not a resort, or any sort of popular, touristy destination. Far from it, in fact. We like to go to the old family beach house on Florida’s Forgotten…