Chairborne — Ben Hofmeister

Here in the U.S., today is the last day that someone out there will have all 10 fingers. It’s probably wishful thinking to suggest that it’ll be only one person, but I’m trying to…

I have a kilt. It’s just a simple, olive-colored utility kilt, and I don’t wear it because of family or cultural tradition. I wear it because it’s comfortable, looks right with my knee-high compression…

No one likes being volunteered against their will — especially when the person doing the volunteering uses the word “we.” I’m sure there’s a similar phrase in every language, but in English, a common…

My family and I just returned from a vacation to the place I wrote about in my very first column for Multiple Sclerosis News Today, only not to the same house. I can’t…

I am not particularly hairy, but even having sparse and fine body hair pulled out by an adhesive is an unpleasant experience. During trauma training in a U.S. Army Special Forces medic course, we…

When presented with a drinking glass containing half the water it can hold, a pessimist would say that it’s half-empty while an optimist would say that the glass is half-full. A realist would probably…

Who hasn’t found themselves in the following situation? A loose acquaintance, or even a total stranger, strikes up a conversation with you, and at first it’s just pleasant small talk. Then there’s the pause.

I had a visit with a local cardiologist recently. Since my 2017 retirement from the Army, I’ve had most of my medical care at the Department of Veterans Affairs and haven’t been to this…

To say that I was the last person on Earth to get a smartphone would be a gross exaggeration. I was a little slow to adopt the technology back when it was new, but…

Even though I was too young to see the first three “Star Wars” films in theaters, I’ve watched them many, many times over the years. I don’t know if it’s the same everywhere, but…

I’m sure the same thing happens in a lot of professions, but combat medics, which I was, often zoom in on the job at hand and lose sight of everything else. I know that…

When I learned to cook, I didn’t attend a class or have formal lessons. I learned the basics as a child from my mother in our home kitchen. At first, everything was structured: follow…

In an Army surveillance course I took in the spring of 2010, which I wrote about last year, I learned more than just the fact that I had a noticeable limp. For instance, on…

Just before a deployment, all the teams in my military unit received a large supply of medical gear that included two medical backpacks, or aid bags. As the team’s medic, I elected not to…

You know what they say about assuming? You don’t? Well, I just assumed that you did, so I guess the joke’s on me. I was going to start this column off by saying that…

When I could still drive, I enjoyed the experience. A car or truck was not just for getting from point A to point B. It was also about the thrill of the journey itself,…

The Army took me to a lot of different places around the world, and if I spent enough time in any one of them, I often found myself adopting local customs. In the deserts…

A friend of mine went hiking alone during the warmer months of early autumn. Before he left, he contacted several of his friends via a group chat and let us know when and where…

I don’t know if anyone else’s life works this way, but my life has a soundtrack. It varies depending on my mood and what’s going on at the moment, but at any given time…