To call my medical career a series of random pivots is an understatement. I have multiple sclerosis (MS) to thank for this wandering journey, one with an uncertain destination, but a surprisingly meaningful landing place. Anesthesiology was my first love. I adored tinkering with the anesthesia machine, working with…
Rhythms and Routines - a Column by Susan Payrovi
As a physician, I hang my hat on certainty, where a certain medical issue can be solved with a certain medication. But when it comes to real life, especially as a parent and a person living with multiple sclerosis (MS), I know there’s little certainty in everyday living. My…
I celebrated my mid-century birthday two weeks ago with an online dance party with friends, family, and patients in “The Myelin Room” — a monthly Zoom event. At 50, I’ve officially grown up. I no longer think of myself as a “girl.” The more dignified “woman” feels more appropriate.
“The Longest Shortest Time.” The title of this parenting podcast says it all. How can it feel like your kids will never outgrow a stage, while simultaneously being way bigger than you remember them being just yesterday? Living with a chronic disease like multiple sclerosis (MS) reminds me…
Trauma is not stress, and you can’t meditate your way out of it. I’d never considered this before. Of all the talks I attended last month at the Institute for Functional Medicine’s annual conference in San Diego, the one that has stayed with me most as someone living…
It’s official: This is the year I aged — physically, emotionally, visibly. With menopause on the horizon and multiple sclerosis (MS) quietly lurking in the background, I’ve been thinking a lot about how best to care for my brain, body, and beyond. Aside from the 3 a.m. hot flash…
Last week, something unexpected happened during one of my shared medical visits with patients. I wasn’t expecting shame to show up. We were deep in conversation about how a diagnosis can unravel a person’s identity and how grief often follows when our sense of self begins to slip away.
I despise theme parks, and I feel zero guilt about depriving my kids of Disneyland, Six Flags, and the general horror of standing in long lines to be terrorized. Why do I hate theme parks? It’s not the shameless commercialism, the overpriced food, or the fact that the tickets for…
I was driving home the other day when something in my rearview mirror caught my attention: A giant pickup truck had flipped over in the fast lane of the highway. It did not look good. I pulled over on the left shoulder and ran to help, completely forgetting the back…
If it weren’t for multiple sclerosis (MS) and my practice as a lifestyle medicine physician, I’m not sure I’d be chasing after better health so vigorously. There simply wouldn’t be enough momentum to push me into action. But as there are silver linings to everything, MS has positioned me…
While most people dread the longer nights of autumn and winter, I embrace every single minute of darkness added as we crawl toward the longest night of the year. As darkness takes over, that’s my cue to gather up all the energy I expended during spring and summer to…
Music and dance have always been my medicine. From decompressing during medical school to adjusting to life with multiple sclerosis (MS) or getting through motherhood, music and movement have never let me down. We all have that friend we dream with, making preposterous plans. For me, that friend was…
As all good things must come to an end, so did our epic overseas adventure in a recreational vehicle that was too tiny to live in and too big to drive into any European village. We devoted those five weeks to quality time with family, unplugging from devices, and…
With just four more summers with all my kids still living at home, I’ve been making the most of our time together by throwing everyone in our trailer to visit state and national parks in the U.S. This summer we’re overseas in Europe, experiencing the lesser-known sights only accessible by…
A trip to Taiwan this summer has been years in the making for our family. Our kids have been in Mandarin immersion since preschool, so when their school offered a three-week program for true immersion in Taipei, we jumped at this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. But dang it is hot and humid…
I’d tricked myself into thinking I was a night owl for decades. Studying came more easily during those dark, quiet, and still hours. So did going out to nightclubs to dance, meet strangers, and feel a little more anonymous and a lot less self-conscious. When that phase of around-the-clock studying…
What’s a reliable way to wreck your mood? Fighting your circadian rhythms. I’m a recovering night owl. I used to get more done between 10 p.m. and 2 a.m. than I did in the other 20 hours of the day. I routinely studied past 2 a.m. during college and…
I used to think I was immune to illness. Getting sick was what my patients did. My multiple sclerosis (MS) diagnosis turned this belief, and many others, upside down. When the chaos of the diagnosis settled, I realized that becoming a patient was the most profound lesson I could…