My sister’s MS journey made me a better person

A young Michael Lama Jr. poses with his sister, Desiree Lama, at Christmastime years ago. (Photos courtesy of Michael Lama Jr.)

Day 3 of 31

This is Michael Lama Jr.’s story:

Growing up, my sister Desiree and I used to play video games and sports in our grandma’s backyard. My favorite thing to do together was shoot around with a basketball.

After a while, we stopped doing it, and I didn’t really understand why. I learned the answer a little later, when my sister was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS). My mom had to tell me about the diagnosis when I was at a young age, and since then, it’s really shaped the course of my life.

Clockwise from left, Manuela Lama, Desiree Lama, and Michael Lama Jr. enjoy Meow Wolf in Denver.

During the spring of 2017, my mom, my sister, and my 8-year-old self were going somewhere, but they didn’t tell me where. We arrived at Texas A&M University, San Antonio, where there were many people older than my sister wearing bright orange shirts. I kept seeing the two letters “MS” next to each other and was extremely confused. After about 30 minutes, my mom pulled me aside and said, “Papi, sissy is sick, and she will always be sick.”

Because I was so young and didn’t comprehend what my mom had just told me, I just started crying. I was shocked that the person I grew up laughing with and talking to so much — my best friend — was sick. At that young age, I thought the absolute worst. “Will my sissy live a good, long, thorough life? Will she be by my side throughout my life even though it may be hard for her? Will sissy ever be OK?”

Then we went on a 2-mile walk, which was good for me because I could have fun running around, trying to forget what I’d just been told. After the walk, we were all tired, but I still had one question for my mom: “Mommy, will sissy ever be OK?”

“Yes, papi,” she said, “just as long as we’re by her side.” Although she’d told me something that wasn’t true, it still made me happy to hear her say yes.

I went to sleep that night without thinking about what I’d been told. The next day, I woke up and checked on my sister, because I wanted to cheer her up and let her know I’d be there for her. I didn’t know how to tell her, though, because I was so young. I was going to say, “I love you, sissy,” but she was asleep. I started thinking, “How can my family help? How can I help? How can I be a better person toward her and everyone else? How can I be a better person overall?”

Since then, my family has been much more patient, and we’ve helped Desiree as much as possible. We know she goes through a lot and try to do simple things for her to make her smile.

That singular day changed my relationship with my mom and my sister. I’ve been more patient and caring with them since then. I try every day to at least make them smile. Even if my sister is 70 miles away, I still try to be caring. We’re still extremely close, no matter the distance.

Since that day, I’ve become a better person.

In recognition of Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month in March, the MS Community Spotlight campaign features a series of stories highlighting the real-life experiences of people affected by MS, written in their own words. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, X, and Pinterest for more stories like this, using the hashtag #MSSpotlight, or read the full series.