Through the Looking Glass
— Beth Shorthouse-Ullah

The “invisible” symptoms that are common with relapsing-remitting MS and many other chronic illnesses can be the bane of our lives. It’s difficult enough to manage them, as they’re constantly fluctuating like a changing tide. But in some ways, it’s even more difficult to explain them to…

“You only begin to grasp the import of an event – and its larger implications vis-à-vis your life – long after it has entered into that realm marked ‘memory.’” — Douglas Kennedy, “The Moment“ I am reading my first book since multiple sclerosis (MS) fatigue reared its…

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” — Dan Millman I’m now living with multiple chronic illnesses. Lately, time has been rushing past like a ravenous flood, or standing still like a lonesome statue. In…

As an adult, it hasn’t been easy for me to get into the Christmas spirit. Planning festivities and buying gifts don’t come naturally to me. Perhaps it’s because adult life never ends, whereas as a student, I had holiday breaks that signified the beginning of the season, allowing me to…

Ten years ago, my husband and I lost our twin girls during my 18th week of pregnancy. In some ways, it feels as though this decade has flown by in the blink of an eye, but in others, it feels as though an eternity has passed. Several years before I…

Just like a surgeon’s prize hand or a ballerina’s plié, my mind has been my most valued asset. That’s been true all my life, through realizing my passion for science, achieving my undergraduate degree in biomedical science, and even keeping myself sane during the dark days of paralysis following…

It’s in my nature to get a little reflective around significant dates, such as New Year’s and the changing of the seasons. I love that these occasions represent change and starting fresh. So celebrating my seventh wedding anniversary on Aug. 29 has made me rather contemplative, more so than in…

Last week, we welcomed a wonderful person into our family. My not-so-little brother got married! The wedding was beautiful — so beautiful that I couldn’t let myself feel it all in the moment. Who wants to hear the loud, ugly crier?! (I did my happy crying loudly in the ladies’…

Having grown up in the countryside, I’ve been around animals my entire life. We always had dogs and cats, and I learned how to ride horses. It was tranquil and storybook. When I left home to take a trip or attend university, I experienced a void only the animals in…

My brother is getting married in two weeks, so last weekend, I attended my future sister-in-law’s bridal shower in London. When it came to managing my relapsing-remitting MS (RRMS) on the trip, I pretty much broke every rule I live by. Surprisingly, taking risks paid off for me, which…

As anyone with chronic illness knows, leaving the house requires planning. There’s much more to think about than what’s visible, especially if you’re relying on public transport. In the days preceding last week’s appointment with my multiple sclerosis (MS) nurse, I was contemplating just how long it’d been since…

“So can you lift me up/ And turn these ashes into flames/ ‘Cause I have overcome/ More than words will ever say.” — Kate Voegele My relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis (RRMS) diagnosis stole my life from me. The reverberations of this unwelcome thunderbolt were astounding. Coming to terms with a…

“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” ― Gloria Steinem For as long as I can remember, my father has always had a saying: “Perfect planning prevents piss-poor performance.” Much to my husband’s frustration, though, I’m still…

“A holiday is an opportunity to journey within.” — Prabhas Last week was only my second weeklong holiday since my relapsing-remitting MS diagnosis in 2017. My husband and I have had weekend getaways here and there, mainly to visit family. Of course, COVID-19 has placed a huge restriction…

Imagine this scene: There’s a rowdy crowd of nearly 40,000 people in a rugby stadium with music blaring over the Tannoy speakers. Newfound numbness spreads throughout the majority of your body, and on top of that, you can hardly see. That was the perfect myriad of factors to elicit my…

In relapsing-remitting MS, relapses and exacerbations involve a worsening of symptoms or the appearance of new ones for 24 hours or more. My disease baseline has changed many times over the years, but has never returned to how it was before my symptoms began. I’m intrigued by how…

Like watching a scale tip up and down, I’m constantly assessing how any choices I make could affect how I feel tomorrow, or even later today. Although my multiple sclerosis was as aggressive and unstable as a hurricane in my first few years with it, I’ve found a baseline…

The thought of summer approaching both worries and excites me. I’ve always preferred the changing of seasons and fair weather to the height of a season, even before my MS diagnosis. I prefer change and the idea of starting anew, as if it might be a remedy to the…

“The carousel never stops turning.” – the TV drama “Grey’s Anatomy” At the 2019 European Patients’ Forum Congress in Brussels, which focused on patient involvement in healthcare, attendees were invited to write down a list of goals they wished to achieve in the next 12 months. After rolling my…