Do They Know It’s Not Christmas?

Quarantine sure feels like Christmas.

The shops are stripped bare.

The streets are empty.

Family homes are stuffed with everyone returning home.

In our case, my wife rescued my youngest son from his cool digs near Hammersmith in West London on Monday, just in time. The prime minister announced a cease movement order that night! It’s something that should have been done weeks ago. The U.K. had just recorded more deaths from COVID-19 than Italy at the same stage of infection.

For those living on their own, a few days of Christmas isolation is now going to stretch to insanity — it’s not like there’s anything special on the telly for this not-festive season!

Meanwhile, families are stuck together. Luckily in our house, everyone has to keep a safe distance from me (a highly at-risk person) and each other. See what a help I am?

Agony aunts, therapists, and marriage guidance counselors are among the few industries really going to boom!

In a house of five adults — my wife, two sons, and brother-in-law with a wife in Thailand he can no longer get back to — only one has any sort of a job left.  You’re reading it. Ta. Your ever so ‘umble writer.

Still, there are advantages to this not-Christmas.

Great man of history finally being read during a suitably historic time! (Photo: John Connor)

I’ve actually started reading the book that I bought four months ago!

There are no parties that you really don’t want to go to but feel obligated.

There are no acres of fattening seasonable nibbles, as there’s no food left.

As yet, time is not weighing on anyone’s hands — we need it all to deal with this version of ’50s Eastern Europe that we’ve just been shoved into.

Long queues at food shops are made unfeasibly longer by the added 2-meter distance rule. It takes an age to get to speak to anyone in health, the government, or business.  Supermarkets are doing their best, but if you’re one of the vulnerable people, forget it. Luckily I have others able to go out and forage. Still, it would be safer for me if they didn’t have to. Keeping a 2-meter distance (about 6 feet) in many shop aisles is just impossible!

My regular supermarket for deliveries enacted a new rule this week, where vulnerable customers get dedicated delivery slots. Sounds good, except you have to phone in to prove that you are vulnerable. No way of getting through. I’d stand more chance of getting a ticket to Glastonbury (which sells out in five minutes). But that’ll be quite safe this year, as you will still be sitting in a field — you and a herd of cows. Mind you, make the wrong move and cows can get ornery!

In the end, though, let’s look to who benefits from all of this.

The Disney+ steaming service launched this week to millions of consumers in the U.K. with nothing to do. I happily succumbed!

However they picked this date, it only goes to prove that we can all still rely on that good, old-fashioned Disney Magic. Even if it’s not Christmas.

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