How the spoon theory makes communicating MS fatigue easier
Using it helps me reach decisions each day about what I can realistically achieve
I was introduced to the spoon theory not long ago in a graduate school class.
The spoon theory, created by lupus patient Christine Miserandino, utilizes a kitchen utensil to illustrate the energy budget of a person living with a disability or chronic illness, which helps quantify fatigue. The theory visualizes starting each day with a certain number of spoons that changes depending on how one is feeling.
I was intrigued by this idea because, as a person with multiple sclerosis (MS), I find it difficult to communicate my fatigue levels, and appreciate having a simple way to express what I can manage on any given day. It can be hard for someone who has never experienced chronic fatigue to understand it. It’s more than just being tired; it’s heavy and unpredictable, and it shapes my life in ways that aren’t always visible to most people.
Some mornings, getting out of bed requires multiple spoons, and I feel as though I am moving through cement. A simple and mundane task, such as doing the laundry, can derail the rest of my day.
Budgeting my energy
That’s where the spoon theory can come into play. With it, I have to make conscious decisions each day about what I can realistically achieve.
I’ve learned that my energy has its own categories. There are fixed costs, such as taking my medications, maintaining my basic hygiene, fulfilling my work responsibilities, and other nonnegotiable tasks that keep my life moving in something resembling order. These things always cost something, even on a “good” day.
Then there are the variable costs, like errands, social plans, and cleaning the house. These aren’t essential, but they make me feel more like myself. I weigh the variable costs against how much energy I actually have versus how much I wish I had.
Next are the unexpected costs like pain flare-ups, heat sensitivity, stress spikes, and cognitive fog. These can hit without any warning and use up more spoons than I accounted for.
No one sees the internal dilemma that occurs when my spoons take a hit, such as what gets dropped, what gets rescheduled, and what gets canceled altogether.
There’s also an emotional side to energy budgeting that no one warns you about. Saying no feels personal, even when it isn’t. Canceling plans feels like letting someone down, even when your body has given you no choice. It’s frustrating to watch your capacity shift from day to day with zero input from you. It’s even more frustrating to feel like you have to explain or justify something you can barely control. There isn’t a playbook on how life changes when you are diagnosed with MS. We can only take it day by day.
Accepting this budget hasn’t made my MS easier, but it has made it more manageable. It helps me choose the things that matter and let go of the things that don’t. And on days when I wake up with a few extra spoons, I spend them on something that brings me joy, not because I’m overflowing with energy, but because I finally have enough to choose.
Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.
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