My day, interrupted by MS

Ena Salcinovic celebrates her birthday three years after her MS diagnosis. (Photos courtesy of Ena Salcinovic)

Day 22 of 31

This is Ena Salcinovic’s story:

Saturday. Finally. A good day. I still believe that even though I overslept and missed the Red Cross and our weekly international cooking. I decide to skip the guilt trip part. No blame; it’s Saturday and I’m allowed to sleep in.

Besides, the house won’t clean itself.

Salcinovic began to use her first walking cane last Christmas, a festive improvisation.

At least my battery will be fully charged for the training. I love kickboxing. It makes me feel strong and in control, something I desperately crave after months of uncertainty.

Just last spring, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever do sports again. All cards on the table, I also love it because it helps with weight loss. I always want to lose weight, but I never do.

Training starts in an hour. As I pack my gloves, my arm stiffens — curls up, cramps, shakes. I brace myself. Multiple sclerosis (MS). I guess I should get used to this. But maybe it’s nothing; I could be exaggerating.

But as I watch my arm fighting itself, the illusion of control shatters. I realize how silly it is to think I can control anything when I cannot control even my own body, defiant as it is.

I need to calm down. Take a shower. Hot and cold therapy helps with spasms, I remember reading. Funny,  I used to read travel blogs. Now, I devour every post in every MS group I can find.

Twelve minutes pass. Still spasming. I check the time; I can’t miss the bus. To hell with it. Google it. My partner reads. Pauses.

“It says if it lasts more than two minutes, you need a doctor.”

It’s Saturday. Emergency room, it is.

Even with a diagnosis of MS, Salcinovic still manages to pursue one of her favorite hobbies.

Admission is rough. I sit in the corridor, crying — not from fear, not from sadness. Just exhaustion. The pain is now deep and constant. It was distracting me from my conversation with the nurse. I was doing my best to explain in my broken German that I have an existing MS diagnosis and to describe these spasms.

Cramps. Stiffness. Twitching. Pain. Seizures. Shaking. Episode. I run out of words.

Then Valium kicked in and knocked me out.

I stay a week. More than 60 episodes. Five doctors. Fourteen tests. Twenty-one needles. Paroxysmal dystonia, they said.

Maybe.

In recognition of Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month in March, the MS Community Spotlight campaign features a series of stories highlighting the real-life experiences of people affected by MS, written in their own words. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, X, and Pinterest for more stories like this, using the hashtag #MSSpotlight, or read the full series.