Chairborne — Ben Hofmeister

When I began this column about living with multiple sclerosis (MS) nearly four years ago, I worried about sharing good things in my life and about comparing my situation with that of others. It made me feel guilty. After writing about it, though, the feedback I received from…

I would say that no one grows up telling themselves that they can’t wait to get their first minivan, but that’s probably just my opinion. I will allow for the possibility that some people have thought that exact thing, but I never did. As I imagine is the case for…

I had the recent honor of attending our nephew’s graduation from Marine Corps basic training. The ceremony on the parade field, along with the events of the previous day, were as stirring as one might imagine, but I think what struck me most was the changes I saw in my…

Not long ago, while the family was all together in the car, a squirrel ran into the road in front of us. It froze for a couple seconds, then darted one way, and then another, before finally choosing a direction. Fortunately, it turned out to be the right direction. Watching…

It’s definitely dark and maybe even disturbing, but a book I have always enjoyed is Thomas Harris’ “The Silence of the Lambs.” If you’re unfamiliar with either the book or the movie, you’ve either been living a sheltered life or you need to find someone whose birth year starts with…

In the not-too-distant past, when my hands were still deft enough to use tools, I really enjoyed working on vehicles. The fact that they weren’t vehicles I depended on every day helped make it a hobby I enjoyed, rather than a chore. Like any hobby, it had its dull moments,…

It’s been a few years since I’ve traveled in an airplane. Flying commercially when you depend on a wheelchair for locomotion is apparently quite the nightmare. Between that and all the accessories I travel with, as long as the distance is reasonable, I’d rather just drive. The fact that…

I don’t have any tattoos. I’ve never been opposed to the idea, but for most of my life, I’ve never found the perfect one to permanently put on my body. Since then, I’ve seen several things I consider tattoo-worthy, but two of them would be most appropriate on my back.

Several (OK, many) years ago, I was having lunch with a group of fellow Green Berets when a news story appeared on the TV. The report covered a recent tragedy, and during an interview with a survivor, it was mentioned that one of the victims had not survived because they…

Like many of my peers in the military, I developed the ability to fall asleep in any position or place and at any time that I wasn’t actively engaged in something. On one occasion, during a particularly loud and turbulent flight, I managed to stay awake just long enough to…

Now that the holiday season, with all its decadent meals, is over, I wanted to share an update on the diet I mentioned in a column last September. At the time, I was still in the elimination phase of a FODMAP diet (which stands for fermentable oligosaccharides, disaccharides,…

I said I would try not to overwhelm you with tales from my past in the military. For the most part, I’ve been true to my word, but something crossed my mind recently that made me think immediately of multiple sclerosis (MS), and I couldn’t resist sharing it. As…

Over the years, I haven’t always followed the same advice I’ve given others. For instance, when I was in the military, I’d tell soldiers preparing for a Veterans Affairs examination that it wasn’t the time to act tough — they should report their pain honestly and accurately. This initial exam…

I wrote a few years ago about a snake we kept that temporarily went missing. It was a wild snake that we released back into the wild because that was the right thing to do. The kids were quite taken with it, however, so we obtained a captive-raised corn snake…

In the past two years, I’ve started listening to a number of podcasts. That this coincides with my becoming more sedentary is purely coincidental. That my first was the Multiple Sclerosis Podcast is less so for obvious reasons, but today I listen to podcasts about more than just…

When I checked into the hospital last month, I answered all the usual diagnostic questions, but then one caught me off guard. A social worker asked if I had an advance directive in place. My first thought was to wonder just how bad the lab results were since I hadn’t…

Due to my uneasiness with heights, I complained a lot about parachuting throughout my career in the U.S. Army. There’s a small chance, however, that I haven’t been entirely fair. Sure, I was afraid every time, made some less-than-stellar landings, and sustained a few injuries, but those were really…

I mentioned last week that I had been in the hospital recently with pneumonia and promised to elaborate. Without further ado or any gross details, I give you my recent tale of woe. As with many of my experiences, may it serve as a warning of what not to do.

“Don’t thank me yet.” Whenever I use that phrase, I mean it in the way it’s traditionally meant. Whatever it is that you’re thanking me for isn’t complete, so wait until I’m done in case you’re not entirely thankful for the results. That’s how I’ve perceived the idiom for most…