The Antibiotic Time Loop

My arms are heavy.

Strong antibiotics have held off a urinary tract infection (UTI) for the last eight weeks — evolution isn’t on my side.

In fact, I’m distinctly beginning to feel like the British Expeditionary Force in Dunkirk in May 1940. Surrounded, with my only hope over the horizon.

I’m normally upbeat about my MS travails, but that’s mostly because the problems have either been surmounted —  i.e., I’ve made it off the floor — or are dealt with. This time, I’m in mid-crisis.

It all began in slow motion. Felt fine, stopped taking the antibiotic (the latest way to do it). Then immediately had an MS flare, occasionally with the full UTI ritual of urgent urination. Restarted the antibiotic, went back to the old way of finishing the course. Stopped. Then immediately had an MS flare, occasionally with the full UTI ritual of urgent urination.

I’ve entered some sort of antibiotic time loop.

The course that never ends!

So I’ve just seen a urologist. He seemed suitably impressed that I came in with a urine sample. The nurse even chortled appreciatively when I pointed out it was gathered “mid-flow.” Old hand. The analysis might be simple: They find something and an antibiotic that can kill it.

Though this was tried two months ago, when I switched Cefalexin (cephalexin). I’ll find out in just over a week.

Citing Dunkirk might be a somewhat heavy-handed analogy, but within the hour of leaving the urologist, there was a phone call for me to have a flexible cystoscopy. A camera on the end of a plastic tube is inserted into “the old man.” Sticking with my WWII theme, this is very much a British colloquialism of the time for the penis.

The urologist mentioned this test as a possibility, and now the consultant immediately moved the piece onto the ops board. In the U.K., our National Health Service (NHS) is going through a major winter funding crisis, so this is pretty damned impressive. I’ve already got my appointment for the procedure.

So things are serious. Admittedly, I don’t think I’ve retreated to Dunkirk. But I contend that Poland is invaded and the phony war could end at any moment.

There’s not much to thank WWII for, but it’s the reason we in the U.K. have an NHS.

Oh, yes, and Gary Oldman is the hot favorite for best actor Oscar for his portrayal of Churchill in “Darkest Hour.”

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