Provocative Film Explores Love and Sexuality Among the Disabled

Ajani Murray, an actor with severe cerebral palsy, talks with filmmaker Ben Duffy.
Dozens of films have focused on those with diseases or disabilities ā and thereās no shortage of Hollywood productions about love and sex. But only a handful have ever really tried to combine these two themes.
āTake a Look at This Heartā does the job with tenderness and finesse. In the film, director Ben Duffy and executive producer Daniel Garcia attempt to show what love and intimacy feels like for people without arms or legs, or those restricted to wheelchairs.
The documentary, which runs one hour and 40 minutes, has been well over a year in the making, though it took only a month and a half to do the actual shooting.
āThe reception has been amazing,ā Garcia told BioNews Services, which publishes this website, in a phone interview from New York. āThatās kind of whatās kept us going.ā
The movie can beĀ purchased via iTunes, and premiered months ago. Itās been screened no less than 20 times across the country ā from Californiaās Malibu Film Society and San Diego University to New Yorkās Mount Sinai and the School of Visual Arts ā and seen by thousands.
The next screening will be Feb. 8 at New Yorkās Fashion Institute of Technology. That 6 p.m. event is sponsored by the Hereditary Neuropathy Foundation, a nonprofit group that advocates for people with Charcot-Marie-Tooth and related inherited diseases. (Details are available here.)
āThe filmās message, although represented through other disability types, is universal and is relevant to our community as a whole,ā said Estela Lugo, the foundationās medical outreach manager. āLove and sexuality is adaptable and not defined by our physical limitations. Whether able-bodied or disabled, we are all worthy of our own beautiful love stories.ā
āIām sexual and sensualā
About half the 17 disabled people portrayed in Duffyās film have cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis, or muscular dystrophy. The rest are permanently paralyzed as the result of auto accidents, shootings, and the like.
One, the quadriplegic actress Angela Rockwood, portrayed herself in the 2012 TV series āPush Girls.ā She said people often incorrectly assume that those with disabilities donāt want or canāt engage in physical intimacy.
āIām sexual and sensual,ā Rockwood, who has a boyfriend, tells Duffy in the film. āIām walking around one night dancing my booty off. The next night, I get paralyzed and I wake up in the hospital. Iām not going to change inside immediately. Iām still going to want to make love. Iām not going to wake up paralyzed and not want affection.ā
Others like Ajani āAJā Murray, an actor with cerebral palsy, has yet to find his soulmate.
āSometimes, I feel like a loser,ā Murray says with tears in his eyes. āIām 34 years old, and I have yet to have a romantic relationship. I canāt figure out why. But I try to be positive. Maybe if I donāt think about it, itāll happen.ā
Duffy and his crew traveled extensively to make this documentary, shooting in far-flung locations from New York City to Bozeman, Montana, and Ponce, Puerto Rico.
At times, the subject matter is intimate and graphic ā with discussion extending to sexual positions and the logistics of making love to a man or woman in a wheelchair. Ā The disabled people he interviews, as well as their lovers, represent a variety of races, ethnicities, and sexual preferences.
A labor of love
Duffy, 28, has directed seven other documentaries, including āWe Are Skateboardersā and āTin Soldiersā ā which chronicles the world of Paralympics and adaptive sports. Garcia, 29, runs a Manhattan staffing firm.
āBen and I went to high school together in Putnam County [upstate New York]. We werenāt close back then; we didnāt hang out much,ā Garcia said. āAbout a year and a half ago, I was coming home from work on the train, looking at Facebook, when suddenly something popped up about Benās new idea for a documentary. He wanted to do something about love and sexuality within the disabled community.ā
Garcia immediately called Duffy and told him he really wanted to help finance his film.
āMy sister had cerebral palsy, and so did a cousin. She passed away from other complications,ā he said. āAnother cousin has severe MS and it keeps getting worse. This is why I wanted to make sure the subject would be done in a very sensitive manner.ā
This need is also what makes Duffy the ideal director for a small production and one of this nature.
āBenās personality brings something out in people. Heās extremely compassionate, and he gets people talking,ā said Garcia, noting that the only negative reaction to this film ā the first heās produced ā is that it lacked closed captioning in the early stages.
āTake a Look at This Heartā ended up costing about $50,000 to make. Garcia said it would be āphenomenalā if that amount could be recouped through paid downloads.
āIn terms of documentaries, itās still pennies. But for us, this was a tremendous amount of money. I depleted my savings account for this film,ā he said, adding: āI hope it reaches everyone it needs to reach. And if we make back some money on it, weāre just going to make more films.ā