This year has been a lot for me to deal with. It’s held more grief, trauma, and growing pains for me than any year before it. And it all started with a relapse of my relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis (RRMS) that came after nearly nine years of remission following my…
Balancing Grit and Grace - a Column by Ahna Crum
There’s a kind of loneliness that comes from being almost understood — close enough for someone to recognize your outline, but not close enough to feel your weight. It’s a loneliness that doesn’t creep in all at once. It settles slowly, the way dust gathers on a shelf you thought…
The holidays have a way of turning up the volume on everything. The lights feel brighter, rooms feel busier, and even soft conversation seems amplified. Living with multiple sclerosis (MS) has taught me that this kind of noise isn’t just sound — it’s work. It’s one of the…
November feels like an inhale that hasn’t yet decided whether to sigh or sing. The mornings are quieter now, the air cooler, and for the first time in months, I also feel more peaceful. On the other side of a recent relapse with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis, facing…
During my hospital stay earlier this year, all I could think about was the relief that would come when I finally went home. I pictured sinking into my own bed, exhaling for the first time in weeks, catching up with all that had happened inside my body. I needed…
The night before I was supposed to teach an autoimmune nutrition class, I reentered a role I thought I’d finally outgrown. Instead of educating other practitioners in the functional medicine space, I found myself in the emergency room, listing symptoms I couldn’t fully untangle or explain. I wasn’t there…
For years, the date of June 22 marked the anniversary of an autologous hematopoietic stem cell transplant (aHSCT) that gave me back a kind of life I never thought I’d taste again. The date marked a milestone I clung to like a ribbon at the finish line, a sign I’d…
Rest isn’t optional in this house. It’s practically an Olympic event! And I live with five feline competitors. They’re furry, opinionated, and deeply committed to the art of doing nothing, whether it’s melting into a patch of sunlight, sprawling across my keyboard, or staging a nightly takeover of the recliner.
This past weekend, my partner and I went for a walk to soak up what might be the last of the pleasant weather before the sun begins to melt Florida. Since my hip revision, I’ve struggled to make movement a consistent habit as my right leg remains a little…
April showers bring May flowers. However, I do not have a green thumb. No matter how hard I try, I continuously seem to murder my plants. My mom, on the other hand, is an avid gardener. When my plants show signs of distress, I take them to her for remedial…
Recently, my work-life balance felt off, so I took the opportunity to house-sit a family farm. I needed the solitude — the peace and quiet — to recharge. While there, I watched a flock of 50 to 60 goldfinches gather at the bird feeders daily. Their communal nature fascinated me,…
I spent most of February staring at a blank screen, the blinking cursor mocking me. Despite having a solid idea to convey and a column deadline looming, my brain was stuck in the mud of cognitive fog. I tried to force my mind to cooperate, but it was like trying…
Recently, a historic winter storm brought record amounts of snow to the northern parts of the Sunshine State. Some areas of Florida’s panhandle surpassed 8 inches of snow! It has snowed before in Florida, but this level of snowfall and ground cover is a first. Despite my immense excitement about…
The week between Christmas and New Year’s Day is disorienting. I don’t quite know what day it is or what I’m supposed to do while packing away a holiday and bracing for the next year. It was quiet after Christmas last month, almost as if time stood still and the…
Between celebrating my birthday and Christmas, December has always been a month for gifts. If my wish list when growing up featured a relatively expensive item, my birthday and Christmas presents would give way to one special present celebrating both. One year my great-aunt took me shopping to pick out…
In recent months, while seeking to balance work, home life, family, and well-being, I’ve sought strategies to help me tackle perfectionism. On the health front, I’ve faced major struggles with my relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis, secondary adrenal insufficiency, and avascular necrosis. However, to this day, my perfectionism is the most…
As a native Floridian, I’ve been through my fair share of hurricanes. Because they’re so familiar, I’m probably a bit too indifferent to them. But in many ways, hurricanes parallel my life with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis (RRMS); each involves preparation, weathering of the storm, and adjusting to the aftermath.
For students, it’s back-to-school season with the recent start of the fall semester. I was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis at a young age, so I’ve carried this disease with me throughout my high school, undergraduate, and graduate education. I often struggled to juggle my healthcare and course…
While watching the Olympics recently, l found myself reminiscing about the days when I played sports. I used to dream about becoming the next Shannon Miller in gymnastics or Mia Hamm in soccer. A more realistic dream was playing sports in college, but that goal quickly became unattainable. In eighth…
June is a special month for me. Eight years ago I had an autologous hematopoietic stem cell transplant (aHSCT) in Moscow to treat my multiple sclerosis (MS). On June 22, I celebrated my eighth stem cell birthday! A stem cell transplant, or “stemmie day,” is when patients…
Note: This column describes the author’s own experiences with an autologous hematopoietic stem cell transplant (aHSCT). Not everyone will have the same response to treatment. Consult your doctor before starting or stopping a therapy. In June 2016, I traveled to Moscow with two friends. The first evening we were…
There have been so many times I’ve started something but was unable to finish it. There have been so many things I’ve intended to do, but somehow never followed through on them. The gate of my mom’s backyard privacy fence is broken. Half of it is missing. A dear friend…
Is there something you now have that you once hoped and prayed for? I’ve been struggling with the demands of a new job for the past few weeks. As a virtual dietitian, I heavily rely on computers to meet with clients and do other necessary work. But staring at a…
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had to relearn how to walk. Learning to walk is a milestone accomplishment. But as you age, life finds ways to knock you down. Injuries, sprains, or broken bones may keep you immobile while you’re waiting for your body to recover.
As an active 3-year-old, I spent every minute of recess on the monkey bars. I was hyperfocused on getting to the other side. I’d fall and try again until my hands blistered from the hot metal in the Florida sun, and then repeat this cycle the next day. Grit is…