With MS, I don’t want to lose control when I should give it away
I’m losing control. I don’t mean that I’m out of control or spiraling in that direction, but I definitely feel like I have a lot less of it these days. That’s a real problem…
Chairborne — Ben Hofmeister
Ben Hofmeister was diagnosed with primary progressive multiple sclerosis in 2014, ending a 22-year career in the U.S. Army, as both a Ranger and Green Beret. He gradually settled into a wonderful retired life in Anniston, Alabama, with his wife and their three boys. He couldn’t be happier. After being inspired by the writing of others with MS, he decided to add his own voice. His column is raw and honest, but sometimes sarcastic and pithy too. MS is a serious disease but a life with it doesn’t always have to be.
Featured Post
Life with MS has given me a new complex to worry about
I’m not sure what age people begin to care about the lives of birds, but I think I’ve reached that point. I’m not quite at the stage where I name them or talk to…
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If you are living with MS, what are others inheriting from you?
My wife and I both have medical backgrounds. She is a registered nurse and has actual credentials that have to be renewed periodically. At one time I had a card that said…
MS presents some of the toughest challenges, but don’t quit
When I attended the selection process for Army Special Forces, I had a number of obstacles to overcome, among them a psychological evaluation, a handful of physical tests, long-range land navigation, and assessments of…
Not thankful for multiple sclerosis, but thankful for what it’s allowed
As this is published, I’m surrounded by family. Some are cooking with passion and purpose. Some are critiquing and giving advice that always seems to start with the phrase “Now what I like to…
We never see the whole picture of MS, just our own little part
Ever since I learned how, I have enjoyed reading. My tastes have changed a little over the years, as has the way I read. I like the feel and smell of a real book,…
Multiple sclerosis can turn a fun hobby into a dreaded chore
About a decade ago, I got caught up in the home brewing craze. I don’t know that I qualified as crazed, but I had a lot of fun with it and felt that since…
A lesson on the importance of being proactive with my MS care
The first time you try something should not be the moment you absolutely need it. During my time in the military, I often applied this concept to both performing a critical task with my…
I wish I could make multiple sclerosis my costume for Halloween
I had a run-in with a nasty, mostly waterborne parasite years ago in Afghanistan. I managed to catch it by, you guessed it, contact with infected water — not by actually drinking it, but…
With MS progression, allowing yourself time to grieve is vital
The company I keep has changed over the past 10 years. I used to associate with people who were much like me. We had a similar way of thinking and faced many of the…
With MS, wedding anniversaries deserve extra celebration
My wedding band is made of tungsten and rose gold. It’s heavier than most, but I’ve had it on for 15 years today, so most of the time I don’t notice that it’s there.
Navigating depression alongside the losses of multiple sclerosis
Due to the nature of my work in U.S. Army Special Operations, or maybe just because of the nature of me, I had a couple psychological evaluations over the years. Don’t worry, I’m…
When a loss of capability feels like a loss of independence
I stopped driving nearly five years ago. That was probably six months or more after I should have. By that point, I was doing it mainly by using my truck’s cruise control and occasionally…
Migraines are common in multiple sclerosis, but mine aren’t
Migraines are quite an experience. People who have them wish they didn’t. I occasionally do, but I’m hesitant to compare myself with others. I’m even reluctant to use the word “migraine” to describe…
Why comprehension is just as important as communication
I recall one of my college classes from years ago, when the professor covered a subject that was rather difficult to understand. At the end, she paused, looked around the room, and asked if…
What if I ask too many questions about my multiple sclerosis?
One of the courses I helped teach in between overseas tours was U.S. Army Special Forces Advanced Urban Combat. While urban combat is governed by official doctrine, it is not composed of…
MS and bowel incontinence definitely do ‘break my stride’
Age is just a number, right? Most of the time, I don’t mind getting older, but it does occasionally bother me. One scenario is when I have to swipe more than three times to…
To live our best life with MS, sometimes we have to ‘do it afraid’
I’ve been afraid many times during my life, but I’ve almost always managed to get past the fear. One fear I haven’t gotten past comes with being handed a newborn child for the first…
With MS, getting what you need often requires self-advocating
Just before my last deployment, I remember sitting in a classroom with other Army Special Forces medics, listening to the representative from a supplier of chest injury dressings. It was common practice for…
Going to the dentist can be complicated when you have MS
One thing I learned during my Army medic training is that I’m not particularly squeamish — with most things, that is. I have a theory that everyone has at least one thing that will…
Crying at Donald Duck, and other strange emotional reactions
A few years before I was married and had even thought about having children, I was at home alone when there was a knock at the door. I hadn’t lived there for long, and…
