With multiple sclerosis, it’s less ‘do or do not’ and much more ‘try’

Even though I was too young to see the first three “Star Wars” films in theaters, I’ve watched them many, many times over the years. I don’t know if it’s the same everywhere, but here in the U.S., their enormous impact on pop culture is undeniable. Nearly everyone you meet can quote at least one line from the franchise, even if they’re not sure where it came from. The more devoted fans can describe the flora and fauna of various planets, name obscure characters, recite historical details, and frankly, get a little snooty with those of us who can’t.

Because of that, I’d better pause and point out that when I said the “first” three films, I meant the first three in order of release rather than narrative chronology. I don’t want to start any fights, especially not when I’m so disabled by my multiple sclerosis (MS). In my current condition, a dedicated squirrel could probably take me, so angering any “Star Wars” fanatics is something I’d like to avoid.

In case you were wondering why I went with a “Star Wars” theme for today’s column, it’s because Sunday is the unofficial “Star Wars” holiday. I can’t resist a well-made pun, and “May the fourth (“may the force”) be with you” is a pretty good one.

One line I can quote is from a scene in the second movie, where Luke Skywalker is training to become a Jedi under the tutelage of Yoda. When presented with a seemingly daunting task, Luke tells Yoda that he’ll give it a try. Yoda responds with, “No! Do, or do not. There is no try.”

It’s a good line and a philosophy that I’ve lived by the majority of my life. In a lot of situations, it’s completely applicable, but in my daily struggles with the symptoms of MS, it’s not.

I firmly believe that continuing to think that way for the first few years after my diagnosis caused me a lot of unnecessary grief. It took a little while for me to realize that I’m not trying to become a Jedi and don’t have to “do, or do not.” I’m trying to live with a progressive disease, and in that life, there is definitely a try.

How I try

Although I could in the past, I don’t walk now. When MS first started to affect my ability to do so, my mindset was to just do it harder. I didn’t want to use mobility aids or limit the time and distance that I could stay on my feet. In my mind, there was walking and not walking, with no room in between for trying or using the available assistive devices to compensate. Instead of doing, I didn’t do — and limited myself from the participation in life that trying would have allowed.

I cannot take a step or even stand up from my wheelchair without support. In the not-too-distant past, I would’ve decided that doing it with support was not really doing it, and I wouldn’t have tried. Trying and failing is not the same thing as giving up. Like so much in my journey with MS, I wish I’d realized that sooner.

I don’t write this column with a keyboard anymore. Voice to text may take me twice as long — mostly because I have to edit the software’s interpretation of my Southern accent — but to me it definitely counts as a try. I won’t deny that when my hand strength and finger dexterity started to go, I considered not writing anymore. I don’t know why I thought that the ability to type was an all-or-nothing thing, but I’m glad I tried assistive technology.

The “Star Wars” quote I referenced earlier isn’t the only one from the film that fits my daily life with MS. Sometimes when fatigue hits, or when I know, as soon as I get out of bed, that the day isn’t going to be a good one, I mutter, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” I also often tell my spastic and uncooperative legs that they “have failed me for the last time.” I’ve got others, but I’ll spare you for now.

What quotes from that franchise, or any other movie, do you use? Let me know in the comments below.

Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.