I’m losing control. I don’t mean that I’m out of control or spiraling in that direction, but I definitely feel like I have a lot less of it these days. That’s a real problem for me because my therapist said that one of the primary issues contributing to my depression…
Chairborne — Ben Hofmeister

Ben Hofmeister was diagnosed with primary progressive multiple sclerosis in 2014, ending a 22-year career in the U.S. Army, as both a Ranger and Green Beret. He gradually settled into a wonderful retired life in Anniston, Alabama, with his wife and their three boys. He couldn’t be happier. After being inspired by the writing of others with MS, he decided to add his own voice. His column is raw and honest, but sometimes sarcastic and pithy too. MS is a serious disease but a life with it doesn’t always have to be.
There are many people who simply cannot admit when they’re wrong. For those who actually can, changing an opinion or belief when faced with new evidence may be even harder. I wouldn’t know, personally, because I’ve never been wrong about anything ever. If you believe that, I also…

My wife and I both have medical backgrounds. She is a registered nurse and has actual credentials that have to be renewed periodically. At one time I had a card that said advanced tactical practitioner, but even when it was current, it didn’t count for much outside of…
When I attended the selection process for Army Special Forces, I had a number of obstacles to overcome, among them a psychological evaluation, a handful of physical tests, long-range land navigation, and assessments of problem-solving and time-management skills. I also faced literal obstacles, in the form of a 2-mile course…
As this is published, I’m surrounded by family. Some are cooking with passion and purpose. Some are critiquing and giving advice that always seems to start with the phrase “Now what I like to do is,” going on to suggest a better way of stuffing, or how many minutes per…
Ever since I learned how, I have enjoyed reading. My tastes have changed a little over the years, as has the way I read. I like the feel and smell of a real book, but I mostly use electronic devices these days because I can more easily see them, hold…
About a decade ago, I got caught up in the home brewing craze. I don’t know that I qualified as crazed, but I had a lot of fun with it and felt that since it was probably encoded somewhere in my Hofmeister DNA, I should at least try it. One…
The first time you try something should not be the moment you absolutely need it. During my time in the military, I often applied this concept to both performing a critical task with my nondominant hand and using certain medical equipment. In both cases, the logic of “I’m sure I’ll…
I had a run-in with a nasty, mostly waterborne parasite years ago in Afghanistan. I managed to catch it by, you guessed it, contact with infected water — not by actually drinking it, but by washing my hands off in an irrigation ditch and then sticking them in my mouth.
The company I keep has changed over the past 10 years. I used to associate with people who were much like me. We had a similar way of thinking and faced many of the same challenges in life. I was a part of an upper tier of the U.S. Army,…
My wedding band is made of tungsten and rose gold. It’s heavier than most, but I’ve had it on for 15 years today, so most of the time I don’t notice that it’s there. Every once in a while, however, I glance down at my left hand and am almost…
Due to the nature of my work in U.S. Army Special Operations, or maybe just because of the nature of me, I had a couple psychological evaluations over the years. Don’t worry, I’m perfectly normal — if “normal” means the kind of person who has the right personality for…
I stopped driving nearly five years ago. That was probably six months or more after I should have. By that point, I was doing it mainly by using my truck’s cruise control and occasionally having to use my gradually weakening arms to lift my right foot off the accelerator and…
Migraines are quite an experience. People who have them wish they didn’t. I occasionally do, but I’m hesitant to compare myself with others. I’m even reluctant to use the word “migraine” to describe mine, because while I have many of the symptoms of a migraine, I don’t have any…
I recall one of my college classes from years ago, when the professor covered a subject that was rather difficult to understand. At the end, she paused, looked around the room, and asked if we all understood. We must have had blank expressions on our faces or our heads tilted…
One of the courses I helped teach in between overseas tours was U.S. Army Special Forces Advanced Urban Combat. While urban combat is governed by official doctrine, it is not composed of any definite rules because there are too many variables. Instead, there is a set of guiding…
Age is just a number, right? Most of the time, I don’t mind getting older, but it does occasionally bother me. One scenario is when I have to swipe more than three times to find my birth year on a website. Another is when a song I grew up with…
I’ve been afraid many times during my life, but I’ve almost always managed to get past the fear. One fear I haven’t gotten past comes with being handed a newborn child for the first time. Every birth might as well be twins: One nurse should hand you your child while…
Just before my last deployment, I remember sitting in a classroom with other Army Special Forces medics, listening to the representative from a supplier of chest injury dressings. It was common practice for suppliers to send someone to talk about or demonstrate their product as part of the contract.
One thing I learned during my Army medic training is that I’m not particularly squeamish — with most things, that is. I have a theory that everyone has at least one thing that will turn their stomach. Every medical provider I’ve met either knows exactly what can make them gag,…
A few years before I was married and had even thought about having children, I was at home alone when there was a knock at the door. I hadn’t lived there for long, and a small group of people had dropped by to welcome me to the neighborhood. I invited…
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