Here’s My ‘Veganuary’ Report

I’m well aware that new converts can be bores.

I started an increasingly trendy vegan lifestyle back in December. It’s only been two months, but it seems like a year! That’s because I love meat, fish, cheese, and eggs. Especially eggs.

Yes, veganism is better for the planet, your vascular system (especially if you have MS, it seems), and fatigue. If you don’t have MS, veganism also seems to help hardcore Ironmen and women.

I think I’m losing weight, even though I seem to have replaced meat with a nut intake of several woods’ worth of squirrels. (I’m a 19th century poet and didn’t know it!) A positive side of this is that a good percentage of nuts aren’t absorbed by our systems.

While I feel something positive may have happened to me, I’m well aware that it scientifically means nothing. There is no control! Except for the control I’ve managed to keep when avoiding eating a sneaky bacon sandwich whenever I can. Or maybe it’s the good old placebo effect.

I was feeling down in December because I could no longer write with my right hand, but I still need to scribble for my job. Though not brilliant, this basic ability has returned somewhat. Maybe it’s because the decreased inflammation from a plant-only diet has helped alleviate things?

I really wish I didn’t feel better from veganism.

I celebrated Burns Night, a Jan. 25 dinner in honor of Scottish poet Robert Burns, with a rather cloying vegan haggis. I compounded this heresy by serving a Welsh malt whisky. No one from the 18th century was likely to be vegetarian, so we were going off-piste anyway! We only had a dram each, so no one actually went off-piste! Iechyd da! (That’s Welsh for cheers.)

Finally, with Valentine’s Day coming soon, a bit of science might be out there — and an awful lot of propaganda — propounding that veganism improves one’s sex life.

I’m unhappy to report that with my version of MS, it has made no difference whatsoever!

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