October 20, 2023 Columns by John Connor This is what happens when I actually take the weekend off A few columns back, I wrote about my lack of time to get anything done. Sure, the way around it would be to get up infernally early ā well, early for me. But Iām most certainly not going to pay to be punished. And thatās the story Iāve always…
October 13, 2023 Columns by John Connor No more ‘Independence Day’ for this tentative road worrier About a month ago, I embarked on what might have been my last-ever solo outing. You can file it away with my other lasts: sitting down and getting off the sofa on my own, walking without mobility aids, doing a controlled Frankenstein’s monster stumble into my bedroom, putting myself to…
October 6, 2023 Columns by John Connor A rather quiet week is interrupted by rectal mucus discharge The original title for this week’s column wasn’t so much of a headline, but more of an essay. I had to shorten it. Iād also better write a bit more here so that my opening paragraph is a tad longer. Ah, being all meta about it has saved my vegan…
September 29, 2023 Columns by John Connor And a good time was had by the sclerosis boys I havenāt seen my mate Nige for years. Actually, to his face I call him Nigel, but itās Nige when I, or anyone else, talk about him in the third person. It’s weird ā I’d never thought about that before typing his name just now. And itās not like he…
September 22, 2023 Columns by John Connor A quiet MS week that’s just too darned loud to think Big breath, for my travails below necessitate a catch-up on my story so far. For once, my multiple sclerosis and the myriad joyous comorbidities itās conferred on me āĀ trigeminal neuralgia, lymphedema, diplopia, spasticity ā have given me a break. So have the fellow travelers who’ve…
September 15, 2023 Columns by John Connor Aggressive MS has me depressed for one whole day How do you start a column about depression that isnāt, well, depressing? Thatās a question for me to answer rather than you lot. If youāre still reading this weekās musings, then so far Iāve done pretty darned good. It was a confluence of events that fortunately involved water. I’d…
September 8, 2023 Columns by John Connor Youāve got a Napoleon complex, you have, mate I don’t have a Napoleon complex in the sense of being small. My body still spans 6 feet, though that’s only when I’m lying down; I doubt I get anywhere near 5 feet tall while seated in my wheelchair. Saint Jane (my wife) is 5-foot-2, and I now look…
September 1, 2023 Columns by John Connor Yet another urinary tract infection causes a complete change of plans What follows is something of an emergency column. All of yesterday’s writing had to be scrapped. Iām now down at the bottom of Column Mountain, squinting up through the clouds and mist, trying to work out again whatās the best route to climb. Last night, I knew the dreaded urinary…
August 25, 2023 Columns by John Connor The itch that turned into an outbreak of yet another comorbidity It’s a new week, so itās time for a new comorbidity. Not content with affecting my brain, spine, and bodily functions, secondary progressive multiple sclerosis is now making my body break down at a cellular level. Make something funny out of that, Connor. Toughie, this one. Maybe later ā…
August 18, 2023 Columns by John Connor Oh, how far we’ve come since the ‘Victorian Era’ of treating MS In 2010, I strolled into a new hospital to meet my new neurologist. In them there far-off days, I was indeed strolling ā nay, striding ā but it wouldn’t last. I was surrounded by an aura of self-confidence that anyone whoās survived the vicissitudes of nearly three decades of show…
August 11, 2023 Columns by John Connor What I should’ve been told about clinically isolated syndrome and MS In 2007, at age 47, I had my first-ever consultation with a neurologist. It was during my longest-ever hospital stay, as of then ā a whopping eight days. It amazed me that some of my fellow patients in the ward managed to gather themselves and struggle outside for a ciggy,…
August 4, 2023 Columns by John Connor MS comorbidities make me a stranger in a strange body I was never a hypochondriac until multiple sclerosis (MS) whacked me. A catastrophic fall while playing tennis in 2007 resulted in a shoulder separation that took two operations to fix. The pain was so bad that, at the time, MS was just something else I had. To be accurate,…
July 28, 2023 Columns by John Connor What started as a simple problem turned into a complex kerfuffle Long ago, I acquired a pair of speakers for my laptop. In fact, theyāve survived many, many iterations of the things. Laptops become outdated quickly, their inbuilt fans fail, or, as in my latest version, the installed RAM is only 8 gigabytes. I’ve been made aware that RAM, or random-access…
July 21, 2023 Columns by John Connor Reflections from the front line, take 2: If only all hospitals were like this As last week’s column ended, Iād just negotiated with my ambulance driver and paramedics to take me to any London hospital other than the one where Iād spent the Christmas months. They offered me St Georgeās Hospital, which I knew to be the major trauma center ’round these…
July 14, 2023 Columns by John Connor Reflections from the front line, take 2: Back into the fray There was no column from me last week, and here follows the reason why: “In the wee small hours,” as Frank Sinatra so eloquently crooned, I, too, was abruptly awake. Only I hadnāt drunk my way there. Instead, my wee was indeed a real one, though painfully…
June 30, 2023 Columns by John Connor I get no kick from champagne ā but what a kick I get from steroids Itās only day one, but my eyesight has already improved. It may not be that of a hawk’s, but at least I can tell the difference between a lumbering pigeon and a bird of prey. The world seems brighter ā and not just because of that vision thang, peeps. If…
June 23, 2023 Columns by John Connor Thereās more to life than this (expletive) MS, and other stories Nobody’s life is eternal, but letās face it, peeps: Much of the psyche of a multiple sclerosis (MS) patient is internalized. I spend an inordinate amount of time, physical and mental, on my illness. Yer, OK, Iām not turning this into a therapy session. Or am I? A serious…
June 16, 2023 Columns by John Connor I canāt make my own bed or even lie in it! For most of the past six years, Iāve been suffering from that weekly journo disease known as “columnitis.” One column is finished, hurrah! Bathe in the relief of getting that one in the net. (It’s a football reference, American “Ted Lasso” finale fans.) Weāve also just had the…
June 9, 2023 Columns by John Connor Weighing the costs and benefits of care for my aggressive MS Itās not often that I dig into my somewhat sketchy knowledge from the Bachelor of Arts in economics I earned in 1980. Admittedly, it should really be described as ugly. Although I scrapped nearly one-third of my units of study, I still have the right in the U.K. (and perhaps…
June 2, 2023 Columns by John Connor Up at 9, in bed by 8, yet still no time? My sleep schedule, according to mathematics, leaves me 11 hours ā so whatās my problem? My current ultra-efficient carers arrive at 9:30 a.m. and usually get me into the wet room 15 minutes later. Maybe 20 if my bottom has been misbehaving. Itās been something of a miscreant ever since…
May 26, 2023 Columns by John Connor I keep running into trouble even though I’m in a wheelchair Ah yes, I’m starting this week’s column with a headline thatās a conundrum (that is, if the olā editor lets me keep it). That’s because I’m starting with a slang word. I’ve checked, and it seems that the main slang word for diarrhea both in the U.K. (where I…
May 19, 2023 Columns by John Connor Global warming and the fine art of ambulance chasing Whoād have thought of the following shenanigans? It only took four days of constant badgering to fix. Last summer brought exceptional (actually, likely to be semi-regular from now on) hot weather in the U.K., with parts of England surpassing 100 F for the very first time. This caused a…
May 12, 2023 Columns by John Connor Reflections from the front line: Home for 3 weeks and still sorting papers So Iām back home. Four monthsā worth of bureaucracy lay in front of me. In truth, quite a wodge had grown before I went into the hospital. Hey, I hadnāt been well in the months leading up to my hospitalization late last year. Thankfully Saint Jane ā my…
May 5, 2023 Columns by John Connor Reflections from the front line: My recovery from muscle deconditioning Iām worried that my tales of recovery may have gotten a tad boring, so let me liven things up with the weirdest thing I now have to live with. The head of my “thing” has been sliced half an inch vertically. By “thing,” I of course mean my penis! And…
April 28, 2023 Columns by John Connor Reflections from the front line: Things are looking up, eventually Ceilings. Oh yeah, Iāve become quite the expert on ceilings. If you spend much of your life prostrate, itās hard not to. The very first column I wrote for Multiple Sclerosis News Today opened with this very topic. As it was an unsolicited spec piece, I was pleasantly…
April 21, 2023 Columns by John Connor Reflections from the front line: Awakening to the new dawn COVID-19 had finally left me. Its only trace was a pair of slimy hands. For a month, I requested a towel in bed to wipe them dry. My wife, Jane, told me my hands were fine; my phoneās screen, however, didnāt agree. As my companion in the hospital…
April 7, 2023 Columns by John Connor Reflections from the front line: The waiting game It transpired that Iād gone and fallen at the worst possible time, landing myself in the midst of a major news story. Iād been aware that what had toppled me was most probably my persistent urinary tract infections (UTIs). They were different and numerous, and acted like allied combatants…
March 31, 2023 Columns by John Connor Reflections from the front line: Stand up, gratefully fall down again If you havenāt read last weekās column (ah, another discerning nonreader), all you need to know is that Iām in a pain sandwich very much of my own making. And this was an improvement! Iād rather be turned into a hefty snack by a Molift Raiser and a…
March 24, 2023 Columns by John Connor Reflections from the front line: I canāt even fall properly this time! Things had been more than dodgy for the past three days. My right shoulder had gone into complete spasm, and even diazepam couldnāt relax it. Iād also upped my antibiotics as instructed. Nada. As ever, I shouldered on (a naff play on words already, John? Dearie me), stuck on…
March 17, 2023 Columns by John Connor Reflections from the front line: Dying, an atheist (a)muses If you noticed my sudden disappearance, it wasn’t because I was sacked. Surprising, I know. Just “MS MIA” ā missing in action with multiple sclerosis. While raving in the hospital, I was suddenly moved to my own private room. In Britainās National Health Service (NHS), this could only mean…