Planning for life with MS means being willing to adapt

When I checked into the hospital last month, I answered all the usual diagnostic questions, but then one caught me off guard. A social worker asked if I had an advance directive in place. My first thought was to wonder just how bad the lab results were since I hadn’t seen them yet, but I was assured it was just a routine question. Still, it’s something I should consider, as I’ve been putting it off for some time.

Sure, that’s probably not the jolliest subject I could’ve come up with during this holiday season, but I don’t really think it’s a dark one, either. In fact, it’s a vital part of planning for the future, something I know I need to do. I’m usually pretty good at planning, but when it comes to multiple sclerosis (MS) and my future with it, I haven’t been nearly as proactive.

Recommended Reading

November 7, 2025 Guest Voice by Aranzazu Calzado

Guest Voice: I’m grateful for my MS caregivers — my guardian angels

Planning was essential in my past career in the military. When developing strategic or tactical plans, we knew we weren’t predicting the future; we were preparing to adapt to whatever uncertainty might arise. That approach should be ideal for the unpredictability of life with MS, yet I never feel like I’m getting it quite right.

I’ve always adapted to whatever MS throws at me, but instead of being prepared, most of my adapting feels forced. That’s probably obvious — I am, after all, reshaping my life around a disease and its symptoms, completely against my will. I don’t have to like it, but it would probably be easier if I allowed myself to be better prepared, rather than feeling coerced by MS.

As a former Green Beret, I always planned for scenarios I hoped would never happen, but I was prepared if they did. With MS, though, I often feel unprepared for the outcomes I dread most. My stubbornness — and, admittedly, my fear — get in the way. I’m afraid of further physical or mental decline, and that fear makes it hard to face the need to be ready.

If I allow myself to prepare for even the most difficult possibilities, it would make change so much easier — both for me and for everyone involved in my life. Planning and adapting to my disabilities may ultimately be my responsibility, but my willingness to do so impacts many others as well.

When I think about it, planning for even the things I’d rather avoid is a way of accommodating myself. In that sense, it’s both self-care and self-advocacy. I hope seeing it this way will make it easier to follow through. With a new year approaching, maybe I’ll finally make a resolution, as it seems like a worthwhile one.

Speaking of the new year, this will be my final column of 2025. Wishing you all happy holidays, and I look forward to connecting again in 2026.

Don’t forget that March is National MS Education and Awareness Month, and we will be publishing guest columns for each day of the month. Please consider sharing your voice and story with the world. There are more people out there who would be touched by it than you could ever imagine. For more details, visit the MS News Today Forums.

Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.