Pursuing quieter, more compassionate examples of self-care
We're doing the best with what we have today
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Self-care is often framed as something luxurious, such as spa days, vacations, quiet mornings with coffee, and a to-do list that magically completes itself. But self-care looks different for everyone, especially those who are navigating chronic stress, illness, or caregiving. Living with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis, I’ve learned that self-care is often quieter for me: reading a good book, giving myself permission to rest, or taking a hot shower.
Compassionate self-care begins with the way we speak to ourselves. Many of us carry an inner voice that pushes us too hard: You should be doing more. You’re behind. Try again tomorrow.
While motivation has its place, constant self-criticism quietly drains our energy. A compassionate approach sounds different: You’re doing the best you can with what you have today. When mistakes happen, replace judgment with curiosity. Ask, “What do I need right now?” instead of “What’s wrong with me?”
Another gentle form of care is honoring your limits. Our culture often idolizes productivity, even when our bodies and minds are pleading for rest. Compassion means listening to your body before burnout arrives. Sometimes that involves saying no to another commitment or taking a break without needing to “earn” it. Being mindful of such practices can ease the emotional burden of living with multiple sclerosis (MS).
Emotional care is just as important as physical care. Allow yourself permission to feel what you feel without rushing to fix it. Sadness, frustration, and uncertainty are all part of being human. Journaling, talking with someone you trust, or simply naming your emotions can be grounding. You don’t have to solve everything in one day. Sometimes compassion means letting yourself sit with discomfort, knowing it will pass.
Celebrate yourself in small ways and honor your victories, no matter the size. We often wait for big achievements before acknowledging progress, but compassionate care recognizes every win. Did you show up when it was hard? Did you try again after a tough day? Those moments count. Treat yourself as you would a close friend — with encouragement, patience, and appreciation.
Finally, remember that self-care isn’t about perfection. There will be days when everything feels off, and compassion means allowing those days to exist without turning them into personal failures. Every new day is a fresh start. At its core, compassionate self-care is a relationship with yourself — choosing understanding over criticism, rest over relentless pushing, and care over comparison. Leading with compassion means you’re not just surviving; you’re building a kinder, steadier way to live, even amid the uncertainties of MS.
Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.
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