Our bodies often tell us what we need to know — if we’re willing to listen

It’s taken me three months to have enough distance and perspective to tell you about my once-in-a-lifetime trip that didn’t happen.

I was all set to visit a favorite relative in Rome, with plans to stay in the dormitory of a 17th-century church with nuns. It was my first trip overseas without kids and husband in tow, and I was looking forward to walking the streets of the ancient city, people watching, and getting to know my cousin better.

Three days before the trip, I was awakened in the middle of the night by an odd sensation of disorientation, followed by the room spinning. As I continued to “fall” without actually falling, I recognized that it must be benign paroxysmal positional vertigo, something I’d experienced twice before, though not in the past decade. The symptoms left me parked in a recliner for days, unable to move my eyes right or left without the room going into a free-falling spin.

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Two days before my trip, my lower back pain flared, further preventing any movement. The smallest stretch would send me into spasm. This meant more time in the recliner.

One day before my trip, the reality set in that I wasn’t going anywhere. No nuns, no beautiful people, no walks along cobblestone streets, and worst of all, I’d miss out on time with my cousin.

Here’s a bit more context to make sense of this series of immobilizing events: Seven days before my trip, the U.S. carried out its first attack on Iran, where some of my family lives. As the world was spinning out of control, so was my head. As tensions were flaring between nations, so did my back.

Listening to intuition

As a functional medicine doctor, I think in terms of timelines to find patterns, correlations, and associations. While it’s often not possible to prove a relationship between events, it can help to make sense of things.

Was it a coincidence that my vertigo chose this particular week to reemerge after a 10-year hiatus? And why was my back spasming without any obvious trigger? Was my body trying to tell me something I was unwilling to hear?

I was deeply worried about my family in Iran. Would they be harmed? Would they have enough food and medicine? Would the conflict extend to Italy, and did it make sense for a mom of three boys to leave for a trip of a lifetime at a time like this?

As someone who lives most of her life deep in her head, ignoring signals from my body is my superpower. But this time, my intuition made sure I listened by screaming louder and louder until my body immobilized me.

My departure date to Rome came and went. Within a week, I was vertigo- and back-spasm-free, back to baseline almost as quickly as the symptoms had come on.

I was reminded that 15 years ago, I also wasn’t listening to my body. I was working far too many hours at a trauma center — weekends, nights, holidays, always on call. It wasn’t until multiple sclerosis took out my intubating arm that I was forced to abandon that life. Finally, my body screamed loudly enough that I had no choice but to listen.

I’m grateful that my body has not given up on me and continues to remind me to slow down and listen inward. It’s a lesson I seem to learn over and over again, hopefully teaching me to pause and listen more often.

Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.