My 10-year-old tattoo speaks to me and my life with MS now

Brittany Boudreau attends the MS Dream Center of Rhode Island’s An Evening to Remember gala. (Photos courtesy of Brittany Boudreau)

Day 5 of 31

This is Brittany Boudreau’s story:

In August 2021, my life was going according to a plan I’ve had since I was 10. However, two days after my 29th birthday while driving to work as a police officer, my life changed.

Boudreau, wearing her police uniform, patrols a pedestrian bridge in Providence, Rhode Island.

I was on the highway, turned to look to merge into a lane, and saw black. I could still see out of my right eye and was a few minutes away from the police station, so I continued driving. When I got out of my vehicle, I almost fell. My limbs were numb, and I felt a tight squeezing around my ribcage, extreme pressure behind both eyes, neck pain, head pain, and vertigo. A coworker helped me get into the station, and then I went to the hospital. After 10 hours, I was released with no answers.

I visited my primary care doctor the next day and was given steroids and gabapentin, a seizure medication, to help my left eye and was referred to a neurologist. The neurologist sent me for MRIs of my brain and cervical and thoracic spine, and conducted nerve tests.

About a month later, I was told I had multiple sclerosis. I had two lesions in my brain and two active lesions in my neck. While waiting for an appointment with an MS specialist, I underwent five days of steroid infusions for the active lesions. Those were some of the most painful days.

Brittany strikes a pose at the Fashion Plates 20th anniversary fashion show hosted by the National MS Society in Massachusetts.

I’ve been on sick leave from work for the last three years, and have had to grieve my past life. Things I used to enjoy but can no longer include my career, my five-year plan, and certain things I used to take for granted, like moving my body.

I have accepted I have MS and have to do things to keep it controlled: taking medications, working out, minimizing stress, eating healthy, holding on to hope for new medications and maybe a cure.

In some ways, I feel like living with MS has made me a better person. I have more empathy for others and have connected with the MS community. After I completed the police academy 10 years ago, I got a tattoo to remind myself I could achieve anything with perseverance, not knowing how much those words would relate to my health. Those words are “Somewhere weakness is our strength.”

In recognition of Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month in March, the MS Community Spotlight campaign features a series of stories highlighting the real-life experiences of people affected by MS, written in their own words. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, X, and Pinterest for more stories like this, using the hashtag #MSSpotlight, or read the full series.