Carded at Costco

Another lesson is if you have a handicap parking placard, and you park in a reserved space, you should display the placard, or accept the stink-eyes and police questioning. I'd be happy if more people who parked inappropriately were called on it.

I also have MS and some difficulty walking. I wear two braces on my "weak" leg, both an AFO & a knee cage. If I'm wearing shorts it's very evident I have a disabiliy but if I'm wearing slacks - not so much.... I do have a handicapped placard for my car. What kind of "card" do you have? I've lived in both Texas and Florida and have never been offered a "card" rather than the placard. Seems like it might be a good thing to have.....

There are many stories such as yours regarding handicap parking. Yes there are many types of disabilities as you mention but the handicap parking spots are for people with impaired mobility.

Wow! At least its good to know that you are not the only one. Although, I was never carded but I got thousands of stares while parking in a disabled spot with my blue card hanging below the rear view mirror. At that time, I wasnt in a scooter or wheelchair. Nor was I using a cane or a walker. I walked normally but already had this same neurological disease. i also had another invisible disability too, I am deaf since birth and use American Sign Language to communicate.

Eventually, this disease (MS) progressed, now I am using a heavy duty electric wheelchair, SPC catheter, and living in an assisted living facility where I receive care for my daily needs including use of hoyer lift. At first it was humilating but over time, I became used to having to depend on others to care for me. Other health problems pop up as I get older and older. Your brief blog brings us to the point that society doesnt understand the “invisible disabilities.” That forces me to speak up by writing on a white chalkboard with black marker and state the name of my disabilty so people can stop their staring and let me be me.

You should see their facial expression after they’ve read that. The color of their faces changes from pink to bright red within an instant and their hand goes to their mouth, shaking their head as they walked away. Others were more kind and blurt out as I lipread “I am so sorry” and put their hand on my shoulder or some will hug me and say “Bless you.” Its weird to see what people reaction will do to to a disabled person. I am like “come on people, hey I dont need your sympathy” but thats how society is. Some people seem to be genuine, others are outright rude and mean. We just have to deal with their ignorance.

I didn't know you had been carded... wow that must have been nerve wracking. Is that normal protocol, calling the police when one suspects a slacker parking illegally? Perhaps a friendly chat would suffice, rather than calling the police? By the way, love your story telling abilities.

My partner aka designated driver takes parking to the next level with his German number plates and my Dutch passenger disabled card in the Netherlands. I’m wheelchairbound past 3 years and it’s beenn quite a ride. Most vivid one was being parked at a supermarket handicap spot for a quick grocery tour, so I stayed in the car. Within minutes parking controllers showed up, knocked on the window and informed me I wasn’t allowed to park with a German car on that spot. My first reaction was to ask whether he was a highschool dropout, but I pulled myself together and asked him how many stars he sees on my card and what do they tell him. Next thing I knew I was “educating” him what European Union meant in terms of borders. Had the car been empty, we would’ve received yet another parking ticket.

I live in WA state too and was carded once. I had a lady say under her breath to me and my son "which one of you is disabled?" I looked at her and said, "While it is non of your business, I have MS." Her pink face was awesome. While I "look fine" and like I'm 20yr with 5 kids piling out of my car, I hurt 24/7 from my back to my legs from this awful disease. I wish people would just mind their own business!

Interesting comments. We don't use ID cards in Ontario, only placards. I wonder if we did have ID cards, would the disabled person have to be the driver or is the ID sufficient to allow parking. Is there a problem when a driver drops off a disabled person and then parks in a designated spot? Just sayin".

Nice job Judy. I too get the look; like I'm not needing handicapped parking. I just smile & keep walking to the closest cart return. I then use the cart as my walker to steady myself as I walk into the store. ☺️

I’ve experienced “the look” too. I also only use my placard when I need to. As was yesterday. I had to go to two police stations to file a report that my prescription for Concerta was “missing”. (Funny, helps me stay organized and not lose as many things as I would)
An officer walked up to me as I was parking and asked how I was doing. Feeling shitty with illness and MS I reached for my placard to hang/show him and stuttered “I don’t look disabled, but I am”. He smiled and said “have a great day”. He was extremely nice yet I still felt as if everyone was watching me walk in questioning my disability.

I mentioned on FB that I often get yelled at by people when I use a regular space instead of the handicapped space. They resent my taking their space. you can't win, smile lol. Margie

California disabled placards come with a piece of paper identifying the person who owns the placard, and the valid dates of the placard. You are expected to carry a copy of the paper on your person. A copy has the same validity as the original. I keep a copy in my vehicle glovebox and my wallet. This piece of paper does not identify my disability.
I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome with hypermobilty now compounded by MS.

One of my issues is parking in a perfectly straight line, kinda like walking down the hall without bumping into the wall. At Clearwater Beach in Florida my tire was on the line for the handicap walkway. Just the line not the space. I was parked in the handicapped space due to my MS, and my placard was fully visable. A beach patrol rent a cop wrote me a 375.00 ticket gor my tire being on the line. I found a real police officer who wrote a note for me that I should not have to pay the ticket and I sent pictures as well. I was told if I did not pay it my license would be suspended.Unreal

Well ive been carded to it’s not fun , I’ve lived with MS 24 years .. and a bunch of other illnesses and but its wrong for people to judge , I once pulled up at Safeway and I have my handicap plate , so I don’t need to display placard , I pulled up and this guy in the car next kept watching me and as I was rolling up my window , he yelled something about a placard, I got my purse and started to get out of car and walk towards shopping carts he said hey B~#<¥ , I’m call the cops if you don’t put the placard up , at this point I was pist , and I said that’s right you call them because I don’t have answer to you ! I would of like to said more but I believe he was drunk . I took a picture of his plate and report him for harassment..I was told I only had to show my Handicap ID to a peace officer .. so they can side eye me and point all they want .. I would trade blue placard for a normal life any day ... they don’t know what it’s like , handicap is not just for people in wheelchairs ...oh yes I got told that at airport.. 1 more time and I’m take it up to someone with high power ..
Stand up for yourself ☝?

I have Lupus. I get the same looks. I’m usually with my husband when out shopping. Everyone thinks it’s so cute because we always hold hand or I hang on to his arm. The main reason for this I have balance problems. I have a handicap license plate. I had a lady come screaming at me because I was in a handicapped parking space and I didn’t have a plaquerd in the window. I was so shocked. I just stood there. My husband said not to kindly. Open your eyes and look at the license plate. There are many times when I don’t need to use the handicap parking. But when I use it, it’s because it is not a good day. People need to be less judgmental. If someone feels that they need question you, just be kind. There are some who abuse the privilege of parking in a handicap parking, but I don’t think there are many.

I live in SC, I just move here in may & Had to change my License and my plaque over to South Carolina because here the plaque from Puerto Rico is no good here & if I use it I will get a ticket They said that in the DMV when I change my license can‘t use my plaque have to get one from South Carolina and use South Carolina plaque that’s the Law I felt like if they were denying my rights I have MS

In WA, you must carry your card if you use the disabled spots.
I also live in WA and have had my disability tags for about a week. I seem to get the stink eye every time I park. I'm waiting to be asked for my card.

In the state of Colorado our plates and placards are registered just like our car are we carry our registration and display our blue Handicap hanger on our rearview mirror I wish more policeman would check it would help get rid of those people that are using grandma‘s old hanger and I know a lot of people do I would welcome them asking I have MS also and I have seen people using the handicap spots and then get out of the car and jog 2 miles around our park and get back in the car and leave! those people need to be stopped so those of us that need it can use it and you don’t need to be embarrassed to be asked handicap parking is a privilege!

I live in the Boston suburbs, have had MS for 15 years and have a handicapped placard with my picture on it. Strangely enough, I also was carded in a Costco parking lot. I was also carded in the same city’s shopping mall a few months later. I attribute being carded to that I was about 50 years old, don’t use a cane/wheelchair and don’t have an obvious disability.
I use handicapped spaces most of the time because i never know when I will fatigue while out and about. If there is plenty of handicapped parking, I think that since most people can’t use the handicapped spaces, I won’t use a regular space. However, if there’s limited parking but one handicapped space and one regular space, I’ll take the regular space to keep the handicapped one available for those who may need it more than me.
And when I’m done with my cart, I try to leave it neatly parked on the edge of the handicapped space in case people parking in those spaces need a cart to use to get from their space to the store.
There’s no perfect way to decide who’s going to need the space more than the other. We all must try to be aware and choose our parking spaces wisely. I have said over the past 15 years that I will gladly surrender my handicapped placard the day that I no longer live with MS.

I gave up my placard a long time ago. I didnt use it all the time but summer in North Texas almost kills me. I know I am making my self suffer when I have to walk im the heat but there is not enough room to tell how many times someone feels the need to say something. The last time I got so angry I started yelling at this person in the parking lot. Thats not me so never again

Second paragraph: “Does one of you have your card?” What card? I have my placard, but no other “card”. I was diagnosed with MS in 1985 and live in TX. I have never been issued a card.

Be thankful they still asked to verify you have a disability. They don't ask us anymore be cause it is obvious.

Recently, a man in another handicap space yelled at my husband for taking a handicap space. My husband didn't hear him, but I did. The tag is mine. My husband was going ahead of me to get a motorized chair for me. As I got out of the passenger side of my car, with difficulty, I just stared at the "parking space spy." I was furious, but the man saw me exit the car and never made eye contact with me. He had no obvious disability and was loading very many bags into his vehicle, by himself. I took the high road and said nothing.

Thanks for writing this Judy,
I also live in Washington, I've been carded a few times by the Police. I've had MS for ten years and I'm Diabetic.
The last time was funny, right after I parked as I was getting out of the car I was being approached by the officer with a harsh look on his face, he stopped when he saw me pulling my cane out of the car and just stared at me.
Then he approached and said that I needed to place my placard in the window. I told him that I have the plates. He walked around my car to look, then asked to see my card.
I pulled my wallet out of my medicine bag (I carry my diabetes supplies everywhere) to get and show him. He looked everything over and paused looking very confused, I'm not sure whether he wanted to ask about my disability or was thinking about what else he could ask me for.
When we were finally done, he handed everything back and walked away shaking his head looking very perturbed.

The issue here is the handicapped person must have a permit (dispayed properly), must be present and must be going in the store. Failure to do so can result in a hefty fine. I certainly do not mind being carded because that is their way of assuring next time I need a space, it will likely be there and no filled by someone using grandma's placard.

I live in SE Georgia, and have MS. I have a placard, but have never heard of a "disability card." Can someone please explain?

In Arizona, you can get one placard or a placard and a plate. I chose the latter. I have MS and Fibromyalgia, along with neck issues that I just had surgery to hopefully correct. Sometimes I can get out of the car and walk into the store OK but can't really make it back out to the car if a walk is involved. This was my biggest issue. Other days, I don't have the capability to make eye contact and unfold myself from the seat to stand and steady myself. My husband walks with a limp, sometimes more pronounced than others. My husband has Ankylosing Spondylitis and some days can't walk over 10 feet. He had the one placard. After I got my plate, he went and got the plate for himself. I have had noone ask me about handicapped plate and if it is mine. According to the day and how I feel, they might not ever want to ask anyone again. We don't have any ID cards, so they can radio in and find out that these are our plates.

I have MS and I have handicapped plates on my vehicle. When I was younger I was yelled at before even getting out of my car! This used to really upset me, now I just ignore it.
What is hard to ignore is the people who think it's ok to take up handicapped spaces while they are waiting for someone with no placard. Or parking in between spots in the loading space for ramps or wheelchairs. That has happened to my sister (also with MS) several times, causing her to have wait or have her husband back out so they can lower the ramp. One time the illegally parked person came out to her car and my sister and brother-in-law had her blocked in. As they took their time getting my sister on the ramp and loaded, a cop showed up and wrote her a ticket.

My dad was diagnosed with MS by in the mid 1950s (same year I was born) when no one, at least around here, had ever even heard of MS. He was once pulled over and when he got out of the car he stumbled a bit. The policeman thought he was drunk, but he explained that he had MS. The policeman, of course, had never heard of it and my dad explained that MS stood for Multiple Sclerosis. To which the police responded, "spell it for me," as he was taking notes. My dad in turn said, "It's bad enough I have to have it, I'm sure as hell not going to learn how to spell it." (He was never a good speller) :-)

In any case, our car had a handicapped license plate and hand controls in the 60s/70s that at that time was so rare that we often had to explain what the plate was and what it meant. Of course, this was long before handicapped parking spaces were common like they are today.

Now handicapped parking spaces are common, but there's still abuse and misunderstanding. Everything is a process. If you need a handicapped space and have the proper credentials, whatever that might be for your state, then I say forget about the sideways glances and suspicious looks. You know you need it and you're legit, so forget about the doubters - they're the ones with the problem!

A good next step would be to figure out how to put cart stalls near handicapped parking so it's easy for someone using a handicapped space to return their carts without extra effort or needing to leave them scattered about because there's not a place for them. It never ceases to amaze me that the cart returns are always so far away and inconvenient for handicapped parkers.

I had a temporary handicapped placard in GA during recovery from knee replacement and my mom was in a wheelchair for the last few years before she died. It was always a head shaker to be parked so close and then have to walk extra far to return my cart!

I have severe osteoarthritis with scoliosis and vertebrae impinging on my spinal canal causing leg weakness, fibromyalgia that causes severe fatigue and difficulty walking, asthma and seasonal allergies that cause shortness of breath, and the list goes on. I have been yelled at for parking in a handicapped space because I don't look disabled. Usually I just ignore it. However, one day a man harassed me from the time I got out of my car, followed me into the post office, and continued yelling at me while I was standing in line at the post office. I asked him to show me his medical degree. He yelled at me for "pretending" to be disabled. I showed him my letter from my doctor that states I am permanently disabled with spondylolisthesis (the medical term for the vertebrae impinging on my spinal canal). He accused me of carrying a fake letter. The postmaster came out and asked what the problem was. The harasser continued his diatribe. I showed the postmaster my letter, and he kicked the harasser out and apologized to me. I told him that, unfortunately, it happens a lot to me. I'm slowly learning to ignore that type of person. They will continue to think what they think is right no matter what I say or do. I know my reality and they do not.

Those with MS ABSOLUTELY need a handicapped spot. You never know when you will lose ALL energy and have severe difficulty getting back to the car, even if you are doing pretty well when you arrive. I know soooooo many people who had temporary issues with their legs, etc. and kept the handicapped sticker just to save a few steps after they have recovered. Give them the stink eye!

I have a placard in PA. I don't have MS, but I do have degenerative neuropathy as a result of diabetes. It affects both of my legs and left arm. I got the placard primarily for things like concerts and sporting events where you sometimes end up parking 1/2 mile from the venue if you don't have it. I rarely use it at any other time.

On occasion, however, when I'm having a bad day, or a large store is extremely busy, I use it. On those days, I always feel self-conscious because I know I don't "look" disabled. The truth is... most days... I don't feel disabled unless I try to walk a long distance. And on those days, I always feel like people are giving me the stink-eye... the disabled and non-disabled alike (I feel like the latter feel like I'm cheating). I even find myself thinking about making up some tragic disability so I don't have to admit that I'm disabled because I didn't watch what ate when I was younger.

But that sense of guilt, that belief that I am somehow not disabled enough to deserve a closer parking space because I don't look disabled, is my problem, not anyone else's. At those moments I repeat a little joke... a little word play that helps me...

I look at the people around and say to myself, "If you could walk a mile in my shoes... tell me how you did it, because I haven't been able to walk a mile in years."

I guess my point is two-fold:

1) That stink-eye is more often in my mind than on the faces of others.

2) We really shouldn't care what other people think anyway... we can only walk in our own shoes.

Hello all, and thank you for your sharing and caring. I happen to be a youngish-looking and the one thing which will get me the "thousand mile stare" is my car. I always wanted a hot red car, so that was my retirement gift to myself. I get "the look" driving up to the blue/white spot to park. People can be so obtuse. Who on earth would park a bright red mustang convertible in a "privileged" spot? Answer is: I will! I love it, the stare heats up, the mouth opens to say the damning comment and then I haul my Drive Rollator out of the back seat, turn on my walkaide, and wobble to my destination. I live in Florida, so shorts are the dress code of the day, for the most part. The walkaide graces my right leg, the rollator keeps me upright and I don't care what anyone thinks. I dare them to challenge me-and only a very few ever have. I see them, and I make sure they can see me. For what it's worth, I had the car before the MS took my legs. My convertible keeps me happy, my walkaide/rollator keep me moving forward, one step at a time! My motto is "Forward, never straight". Any questions? "Bring it"! So far, no one has wasted my time.

OOPS! I meant to say I am a rather young-looking retired army nurse, still in active duty shape aside from my MS-funky legs.
Otherwise, my comment makes me seem rather simple. Sorry about that.