I had a glass of wine thrown in my face on the evening of my wedding anniversary. I was taken completely by surprise — well, maybe not completely. After all, the person who threw it has a reputation for that sort of thing. I was pretty irritated, though, because a…
Chairborne - A Column by Ben Hofmeister
They say that if you happen upon other people talking about you, you shouldn’t listen in. I have no idea who “they” are. I’ve searched for a quote to give someone the proper credit, but have had no luck. The most likely scenario that comes to mind is that I…
Multiple sclerosis (MS) and a good night’s sleep seem to be mutually exclusive. I seriously doubt that anyone with MS will reply in the comments that the disease has blessed them with the best sleep of their lives. Yet I used the word “seem” because when writing about any…
Something is happening to me. All four limbs have become heavier than usual over the past two weeks. My arms and fingers are stiffer and less responsive, and I’ve somehow managed to effect a shuffling gait in my wheelchair. My eyes tire quickly, to the point it seems like I’m…
While helping me get dressed this morning, my wife handed me a T-shirt from a dresser drawer across the room. It happened to be a shirt commemorating an event from my pre-multiple sclerosis (MS) past. It’s what you might call a “been there, done that, got the T-shirt” kind…
Every time I find myself in a multistory building, I end up on an elevator. It’s not as though I’m too lazy to take the stairs — well, OK, I am lazy — but in this case, it’s because my wheelchair won’t climb one, much less a flight of them.
There’s a slight chance that I might be stubborn. I don’t really see it, but my wife, parents, siblings, relatives, friends, and former teammates all seem to think so. I personally think that they’re mistaking my drive and strong willpower for stubbornness, but I suppose I respect their opinions enough…
School started last week for our three kids. They got to see friends from the last school year, meet their new teachers, and sit at a new desk in their new classrooms. Per tradition, there was no homework assigned the first week, but they still brought home plenty of papers…
If I were a superhero (or a supervillain, for that matter), I’d have an origin story. As it stands, I’m not even a minor hero in real life, and only a mediocre one when appearing in my own stories. I’m just a guy with multiple sclerosis, and all I…
In my last column, I mentioned that I had an intrathecal baclofen pump. I’d make a bad pun, but I don’t have it in me. Spasticity, spasms, and hyperreflexivity were some of my first symptoms, which steadily got worse as my multiple sclerosis (MS) progressed.
“Thanks, I hate it.” Odd way to begin a column, I know. I suppose I’d better explain myself. That phrase regularly appears in memes and other pop culture media as an expression of dislike for an image or tweet. No one seems to know where or from whom it…
If you weren’t aware (I wasn’t), last Friday, June 17, was National Eat Your Vegetables Day. The day wasn’t created to tout any special diet per se, but to increase awareness of the benefits of vegetables in a healthy diet. If you were already aware of those benefits, then…
I’m heading to the beach with my family soon. Not a resort, or any sort of popular, touristy destination. Far from it, in fact. We like to go to the old family beach house on Florida’s Forgotten Coast, where I went as a child and now want my…