Life with MS is hard, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own
I am grateful for those in the MS community who helped me
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Between my tours with the Army, a new course was added to the curriculum for me to teach — a two-week basic combat skills course for support personnel. The logic was that if a mechanic or cook attached to a special forces team overseas ever had to do something outside of his or her skill set, they should probably be exposed to it before that moment.
That made good sense to me, but not to everyone. I once overheard an observer of the training remark to a fellow instructor: “I don’t know if you should be teaching them that. You’re giving away all our secrets.” My colleague replied calmly: “Oh, you mean those secrets that will keep these kids alive? Yes, we’re just giving those away.”
Sadly, I’ve occasionally heard that observer’s sentiment when it comes to multiple sclerosis (MS). I can only speak for myself here, but nothing I know about this disease or life with it should be a secret. Some things might be unique to me, given the very individual nature of living with MS, but none of that is privileged information.
Why go it alone?
Some people may believe that since they had to figure out how to navigate their disease on their own, everyone else should, too.
Perhaps embarrassment about struggling to feed oneself or walk in a straight line, or bitterness about not having anyone to talk to about bladder issues, might lead someone to think that everyone should figure MS out for themselves.
I even had similar feelings myself in the beginning. But once I recognized them as a type of relative privation, or victim mentality, and received support from people who don’t view MS as some kind of individual initiation, I banished them quickly.
MS is not a treasured or honored goal. For me, it wasn’t a goal at all. I have accomplished a few things in life that are considered tough, and I wouldn’t want them simply handed to anyone. But I chose to attempt those things. I didn’t choose MS and wouldn’t wish it to be tougher on anyone than it already is.
Everyone’s disease course, treatment, and experience will be different. There is no perfect, step-by-step guide, but even so, nobody has to go it alone. What little I do know about MS was passed on to me from others in the MS community. I am so grateful that people were willing to share their experiences. I’m even more grateful that they impressed upon me the importance of deciding what works for me and what doesn’t.
I hope I’m doing the same for someone else.
Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.
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