Living with MS, I feel suppressed, even neutralized, but never destroyed

I said I would try not to overwhelm you with tales from my past in the military. For the most part, I’ve been true to my word, but something crossed my mind recently that made me think immediately of multiple sclerosis (MS), and I couldn’t resist sharing it.

As with all of my columns that contain military references, I beg your indulgence.

At some point in my career, I learned the terms for making an assessment of either an adversary’s effectiveness and capabilities, or that of my own. When making such an assessment, the words “suppressed,” “neutralized,” and “destroyed” are used, each one having a specific meaning. As I briefly cover them, I’m certain that the ease of comparing them to MS will be apparent and that you’ll probably think of plenty of examples I didn’t.

In the military, “suppress” means to degrade a force’s capability, or, simply put, to make a unit change what it is doing. It’s considered temporary, effective only while the suppression is taking place, and reduces the force’s capability by about 3%.

This called to mind what goes on during a relapse in a person with relapsing-remitting MS. I think it’s more than fair to say that a relapse of MS symptoms degrades and reduces someone’s capabilities and is mainly effective while the attack is going on. Those diagnosed with that form of MS are the real experts and can enlighten me, because I don’t actually know.

Recommended Reading

January 20, 2026 News by Andrea Lobo, PhD

Daily caffeine supplements significantly reduce fatigue in MS trial

My battlefield assessment

I have primary progressive MS, and I can assure you that at the beginning, I definitely felt suppressed. I suppose you could say that I progressed past that, but some days are still worse than others and can make my effectiveness feel very reduced. Then, as now, MS made me completely change what I was doing, and that was particularly difficult to deal with.

“Neutralized” is more severe than suppressed, but it is still considered temporary. A neutralized unit is disrupted, or incapacitated, and is unable to meaningfully continue in its mission. Even though it’s temporary, neutralizing is still effective even if the action is no longer taking place, and it represents a reduction in capability of about 10%.

Although it’s not temporary in my case, I feel as if MS has disrupted my life and kept me from meaningfully continuing my original mission. I’m not completely incapacitated, but some days it really feels like that, and while I can participate in my own life, it’s not the way I originally meant to. I should be grateful to still be able to play a role in life, and I am, but I have found that the bitterness never completely goes away.

“Destroyed” may imply a state that is complete, but it actually only means a reduction of about 30%. If a unit’s capability is destroyed, it is considered to be ineffective and permanently incapacitated until reconstituted. Unlike the other two, this one’s effects are considered to be permanent.

While MS may have reduced my capacity by 30% or more, I honestly don’t feel destroyed. I think that is primarily because my friends and family have never made me feel ineffective. There’s no denying that I am permanently incapacitated and have suffered a severe reduction in capability, but they are a big part of what makes me able to engage with the world around me.

I don’t know what the future holds, but there’s always the chance that I will never be able to reconstitute. That thought would be devastating without my support group. I don’t like saying, “I have MS, but it doesn’t have me,” because it certainly does. I do like saying that, while it might suppress or neutralize me from time to time, it will never destroy me.

Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.