Like the spoon theory, the fork theory can also help explain MS
It gives a whole new meaning to 'Stick a fork in me. I'm done'
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It’s been my routine over the last decade to have blood panels drawn about four times a year. Each time, I’m warned just before the needle enters my arm that I’m about to be stuck. Occasionally, though, the warning is framed as an analogy. A common one is to compare the needle stick to a bee sting.
At this point in my life, I’ve had far more needle pokes than bee stings, but humans tend to explain the unfamiliar by comparing it to something that might be more familiar. Especially when that something is close by and readily available for a demonstration. That’s how the spoon theory came into being.
While trying to explain over a meal the lack of energy caused by a chronic illness, Christine Miserandino used the spoons at their table. While she wasn’t describing multiple sclerosis (MS), the spoon theory has become a popular and indispensable way to explain that a person’s daily energy is finite. I’ve used the idea many times to illustrate how I must use or ration the energy I have on any given day.
A theory of forks
Lately, however, I’ve learned about a new dinnerware-based analogy that I like just as much and intend to use at every opportunity. Called the fork theory, it illustrates the external stressors that can plague someone with a chronic condition.
The concept is simple. Obstacles to my physical and mental well-being are like forks being stuck in me. Some forks are bigger, such as fatigue from being outside on a hot day or spasticity that keeps me from operating my wheelchair safely. If both of those forks are stuck in me at the same time, my day grinds to a halt.
A little fork can be a slightly uncomfortable position in my wheelchair, having to learn and use a new piece of medical equipment, receiving an unexpected bill, or just being hungry. None of these is big on its own, but if enough small forks are stuck in me, or if a few are combined with a large one, then the results can be big. The problem is that I never know which little fork will be one too many.
Unfortunately, as my MS progresses, I seem to have fewer spoons and bigger forks. For example, a touch of sinus congestion has gone from nothing more than a second thought, a small fork, to a big, day-altering one. It’s not fair that as my energy reserves diminish, there are more and bigger stressors to sap them.
On a good note, just like with spoons, forks can help explain aspects of MS to others. I’m not making excuses for myself, but maybe I responded inappropriately to something that seemed insignificant because it was the one fork that pushed me over the edge. It also helps to think of a fork as something you can remove when you are faced with an aggravating situation. For instance, if one room is too loud, retreating to another, or to the porch, to keep me from reaching my threshold is like removing a fork.
The concept also helps me to understand myself. When I am able to do that, then I’m more likely to give myself grace. I’m also more likely to extend it to others, especially those most affected by my MS. I should never deal with one of my forks by pulling it out and sticking it in a loved one.
Learning about the fork theory has helped me tremendously, and I wanted to share it in case I wasn’t the only one who hadn’t heard of it. For those of us living with MS, it certainly gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Stick a fork in me. I’m done.”
Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.
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