To live our best life with MS, sometimes we have to ‘do it afraid’

I’ve been afraid many times during my life, but I’ve almost always managed to get past the fear.

One fear I haven’t gotten past comes with being handed a newborn child for the first time. Every birth might as well be twins: One nurse should hand you your child while another hands you the bundle of fear that was brought into the world alongside them. It’s a little terrifying knowing that suddenly you’re responsible for a life other than your own. My wife and I have three kids and, surprisingly, that fear didn’t lessen with each new birth. I assume it goes away when they become responsible teenagers, and if not, then surely by the time they turn 18.

It may seem a little silly, but one way I dealt with fear in the past was to silently recite the Bene Gesserit litany against fear from Frank Herbert’s novel “Dune.” I found myself quoting it in my head before nearly every parachute drop in the Army, as well as during any other moments when I felt my life was in danger.

The litany reads:

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

It actually works well for me in diminishing what I think of as routine fears, but it doesn’t seem to have the same effect on my worries about raising three young boys — or the fears that accompany a life with multiple sclerosis (MS).

I think that’s because my routine fears have an end in sight. For example, my fear of heights is lessened by repeating the litany because, at some point, I will be back on the ground. I recognize and acknowledge the fear, face it, let it pass, and take comfort that I’m still there despite having been afraid.

Recommended Reading

August 20, 2024 News by Katherine Poinsatte, PhD

First healthy participant dosed in Phase 1 trial of IMP761 for MS

Learning to live with fear

With MS, we all hope for an end to the disease and its symptoms, but that end is not in sight yet. I recognize and acknowledge the fears that come with MS and face them every single day. But my worries about the unpredictable aspects of MS either don’t come to pass or are replaced with new worries. For me, it comes down to a fear of the unknown.

I struggled with that a lot in the first year or two after my diagnosis. I knew from experience that less fear, or greater resilience to fear, meant a better quality of life. So it was confusing and frustrating to me when my fears about the inconsistency of MS didn’t go away, even after I’d faced them.

It took me a while to realize that a little fear can be a good thing. Being afraid can show us what not to do as well as what we absolutely should do. We should all be living our best life in spite of our disease, and facing the fact that it can be scary at times helps us do exactly that. I don’t think you can have multiple sclerosis and not be afraid. I tried at the beginning and only hurt myself in the process.

In a column on the subject of fear, former MS News Today columnist Jenn Powell reminds us that while there’s room for panic and peace in our lives, only one can dominate. Having peace with multiple sclerosis doesn’t necessarily mean having no fear. It means facing your fears, but choosing to let the peace that comes with understanding emerge on top.

The missionary and writer Elisabeth Elliot said that sometimes the fear doesn’t go away and we have to choose to “do it afraid.” That’s a great quote for MS. The fear of an inconsistent disease never goes away, and having a life of peace often means choosing to do it — to live our best life — afraid.

I’m pretty sure that’s the very definition of bravery.

Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.