In navigating life with multiple sclerosis, words matter
Looking at life as a journey, rather than a quest or adventure
We’ve begun a brand-new year, and normally that would mean resolutions, but as I’ve said before, I’m not exactly a resolution kind of guy. I don’t have anything against them and I do intend to better myself, but I don’t want the disappointment of failing to meet a stated goal. For the next two weeks (at least), I’m sure I’ll write the wrong year on documents, and that’s all the disappointment I want to handle at this point.
When you have multiple sclerosis (MS), setting achievable goals is almost impossible, and not reaching even the most realistic of them has always felt extra disappointing to me. But I’m starting to think that maybe my disappointment doesn’t really have anything to do with my goals being realistic or achievable. It might just be the way I think about my path in life and the words I use to describe it.
I often use the word “journey” when referring to my daily life with MS, but I wonder if some of the disappointment stems from treating it as a quest or adventure instead.
My journey with MS
For most of my life, I’ve used the three words “adventure,” “journey,” and “quest” interchangeably, but I no longer think they are. According to a blog post on Fantasium Media, these three words have three separate meanings based on what an individual hopes to gain. For me, my existence with MS is a direction rather than a destination, no matter how bad I want it to be the latter. Life has become far less stressful since I started thinking of it that way and as a journey rather than a quest or adventure.
Per the blog, a quest is undertaken in order to accomplish a task. For me, each trip I make to the refrigerator is a quest. I’m going there to accomplish a specific task — namely, finding food to stuff my face with. There are things that I want to accomplish every day with MS, too. I get some of them done on some days, but it’s anything but consistent. Since accomplishment doesn’t happen every single time, I don’t feel that MS qualifies as a quest.
An adventure is a mission toward a specific destination, often with risk involved along the way. My most common adventures take place when I go to shower. Sure, it makes something as mundane as a shower sound a little more exciting, but it’s true. I am headed to a specific destination and there is some risk involved in transferring to and from a shower chair. My mission with MS isn’t headed to a specific destination. As I noted before, it’s really a direction, and in my mind, it doesn’t meet the requirements for an adventure.
A journey, on the other hand, is a trip without a specified task or destination; the reward is in the simple enjoyment of a daily existence that is right for you. I don’t like to think of a daily existence with MS as being right for me, but it can be enjoyable sometimes. An enjoyable life with MS shouldn’t have unreachable destinations or unachievable goals. I haven’t quite gotten over trying to have both of these things, but I’m working on it. Besides just being a common theme of my life with a chronic disease, maybe “working on it” should be a resolution.
I’ll also turn 50 this year. I’m not hung up on numbers, so I’m not dreading it by any means. Still, it’s a milestone and a halfway point in the journey of someone who is convinced that they’ll live to see 100. I don’t think it’s the new anything and I don’t really see my 50s as being fabulous either. Instead, I think I’ll try to have feral 50s. I might even resolve to, since that seems like a very achievable goal for me.
Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.
About the Author
Merlene Cook
Journey on.
Tammy Mackinnon
Hi. I think you’re right about those three words meaning different things. Quest is easy; you’re looking for something. And actually, I think all three of these could be used. But journey seems best to me too. MS is nothing if not an adventure, tho. But I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 62. 20 months ago. And yes, a shower is an adventure. I’m not willing to go on. But I could still be on a quest for happiness. And peace of mind. But essentially MS has turned my life into a journey. Not sure why but actually I think it’s because my life got a lot harder 20 months ago. And journeys aren’t easy. Plus there’s lots of discovery, whether you want it or not, which seems like something you’d find on a journey. I guess what I’m saying is, you do you, but I don’t think I want to be feral! What you wrote was so positive until you got to that point. I used to make resolutions and had always put one like, live to my next birthday. Bc I thought, even if I didn’t make a single other one, I’d probably make that one. That’s kind of a destination, right? But I haven’t made any this year either. I’m 20 mos in tho and I’m still working my way through the stages of grief in roller coaster order. Thank you for that article.