When living with MS, we have to be open to change in our routine

“We’ve always done it this way” was the phrase I most despised in the Army whenever I questioned a tactic or technique. I’m not saying routine and doctrine aren’t important or can’t help streamline a task, but they should also be common sense before they’re applied. My problem was the rigid application of methods that didn’t make sense. Trying to make a square peg fit into a round hole usually doesn’t work for both the peg and the hole.

As with many other things, I wonder if that way of thinking grates on me because I’m guilty of it, too. I’m sure I said those exact words when I was in the Army, and I know I’ve tried to use routine or doctrine to justify decisions in my life with multiple sclerosis (MS). This disease is the ultimate square peg being forced into my round life. It seems to defy any of my attempts to stick to a routine.

As I noted above, routine and doctrine have their place. They’re especially important when you have a chronic condition and streamlining tasks isn’t just efficient, but also comforting. The problem happens when MS changes your abilities and one of your routines no longer passes the common sense test. I’d like to think I’m practical and adaptable, but my MS really tests that, and sometimes I’m resistant to change.

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A great example of this is my reluctance to adopt a new routine for accomplishing something. I’m perfectly comfortable with the idea of breaking a big task into smaller pieces, but I don’t like when MS changes the definition of a big task. It can be extremely frustrating when something I was able to do in one step just a month ago now requires several. Common sense tells me that this is a necessary and efficient change, but the voice in my head tells me I’ve always done it this way.

Everyone is probably tired of me saying that MS is not a one-size-fits-all disease, but I’m going to say it again now and will likely repeat it in the future. What works for one person might not work for another, so MS “doctrine” can’t really be anything more than guidelines. I don’t mind if someone suggests I try something because it worked for someone else, but I don’t like when people — including myself — rigidly insist that it’s what’s best for me.

I also don’t like being told that nothing can be done about something, or that a situation is as good as it’s going to get. I’m probably stubborn, but I don’t accept either of those answers. The words “right now” or “according to your routine” should be tacked on to the end of each statement. I don’t think that fails the common sense test in any way. To me, it’s just being optimistically realistic.

That may just be wishful thinking or misplaced hope on my part, but I don’t think it is. Hope might not have a place in my traditional ideas of routine and doctrine, but it feels vital to me now. MS forces changes, and I have to be open to changing, too. Hope is the constant, and in spite of myself, I plan on keeping it that way.

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