Short and Sharp

This column will be short as I am quite ill. That’s nothing too unusual for those of us with MS.

Oh, the joys of a relapse. A while back, it stopped me from walking. Now it’s stopped me from standing!

Transferring anywhere is now a nightmare. I have to use my Hannibal Lecter Molift Raiser but often don’t have the energy to climb into it. That’s where having two strapping lads living at home during lockdown comes in handy. Any chance of keeping a social distance has long gone.

My right arm only works these days when I take diazepam. Typing after taking this medication would be a lot easier, as hitting the question mark key currently is a nightmare. The trouble with this solution is that diazepam also sends me sleepy-bye. I only dare take it when I’m going to bed, and even then only if my right arm is hurting.

It’s been an awful long time since I knew anything about the drug scene, but I’m pretty sure it’s quite addictive. I’d rather leave my addiction to whisky, which I haven’t tried in weeks! I seem to have been afflicted by various ailments for quite a while.

The lowlights this week included four hours trying to self-catheterize. My wife tried to help but even that failed. Waiting and persistence eventually worked. There was a lot of “just a couple more inches.”

I just missed the commode while starting to write this. A herculean effort, or maybe a surge of adrenaline, helped me to stand for the first time in three days. But it was too late. Maybe this is a lower lowlight than the catheter — it’s difficult to tell anymore.

It’s possible the C. diff finally has left me. My wife dropped a stool sample of mine at the lab for testing yesterday. I have new antibiotics to fight C. diff infection, but I think I’ll wait for the lab results.

Actually, I’ve a correspondent from a previous column to thank for this. “RG” wrote a forceful email that I refused to publish because I thought it was too aggressive! Mea culpa — I dug it out and quoted it to my doctor. It was out of his knowledge range, so he phoned the microbiologist at our local hospital and the drugs appeared.

There aren’t any highlights to report except maybe I’ve encouraged my wife and eldest son to start watching the crime drama series “Justified” on Amazon Prime. My wife wasn’t sure about it, but when she found out Elmore Leonard was involved, all doubts were lost. My eldest son just loved the hat. He’d stolen a straw one just like it from me years ago.

At least I now felt justified!

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