OK, you’re not all science fiction nuts, so I’ll explain:
The Borg are a cybernetic race and the lead baddies in the “Star Trek” universe — or, the way the latest Netflix iteration is going, the multiverse. Besides trying to take over all life forms, they also have the sneaky ability to adapt their personal shields, admittedly after a few of their brethren have fallen.
Multiple sclerosis (MS) has forced me to accept this sneaky ability to constantly “adapt.” I’m also sneakily writing about science fiction so as not to reveal too early that this is yet another column about poo!
For a while, my new vegan diet meant I’d vanquished the need to use the anal catheter that had proved so successful last year. Then, I recently lost the ability to stand on my own and was reduced to asking my family to transfer me to my commode. I felt emasculated.
Now, MS has imposed even more changes over the past few weeks. Not even the vegan diet can conquer it!
The anal catheter has made a triumphant return. I can’t even get onto the toilet. I can’t lift my bum far enough onto my commode to slip it into the requisite repository. You try thinking up clean analogies!
I simply remove the poo-catcher in the shower (my commode is also a shower chair, which is very handy) and insert the anal catheter. Ah, so easy. I should have thought of this before!
Hold on, cowboy. There is a downside. Even with help, there is absolutely no time after the eruption that dislodges the catheter to replace the poo-catcher. Though company is the last thing I want at this stage of my MS.
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