The Thankful Rest of Thanksgiving

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by John Connor |

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I’m surprised I get anything done!

Luckily, the parent company of Multiple Sclerosis News Today is in the U.S., so I didn’t have to write this column last week, due to Thanksgiving celebrations — even though I’m British.

I also got two days off from being an MS News Today Forums co-moderator. “Hooray,” I thought. “I’ll get oodles done.” Except I didn’t!

Was I lazing about eating the vegan equivalent of a turkey leg in my own copycat celebration? I’m afraid not, as I have yet to discover a suitable replacement for turkey in my new vegan world. You may be surprised to learn there is a passable version of bacon called “vacon,” in one instance of superb marketing. Yes, please. But I digress.

So, what was I doing with all this lovely time? Dossing by watching myriad poor films on the equally myriad streaming channels now available? Accepting that this is now my fate? Attempting to read my hillock of books? Catching up with bureaucracy, perhaps? My to-do list now has its own subsections.

None of that.

Instead, I was dealing fully with the brickbats that MS throws at me. It’s hazy and not really memorable.

How about today? (To give you a timeline, I’m writing this at 9 p.m. on Tuesday.)

I’ve spent the day as some kind of weird sewage plant! It sounds gruesome. Following is the explanation.

I had to use my anal catheter on Sunday. In New Age speak, a water enema, or, if you’re mad enough to waste it, a coffee one. It took a liter of water for Vesuvius to erupt! Then, many hours were spent waiting for the aftershocks.

All was quiet on the bottom front until today. A watery effluent started gushing. I think it’s finally finished, but it’s interfered with my entire day. Hence, I’m writing this late into the night — late for me anyway, as I am put to bed at 11 p.m.

This is nothing special. There’s always something.

Now, it’s early Wednesday afternoon. My carers just left, and I seem fine. A few tingling shocks have run down my neuropathic right arm. I hope it’s an echo rather than the beginning of an attack. Otherwise, I will have to down some diazepam (otherwise known as Valium in the U.S.) to deal with it. This medication makes me drowsily happy and screws up my eyes, so reading anything becomes something of a guess.

The shocks have gone away. Phew. I’ve finished the column and am now, in good old journalism speak, well enough to polish it! Oh dear, my editor will enjoy using that line against me if it isn’t good enough.

I’ll cross the fingers on my non-neuropathic left hand.

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Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, BioNews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.

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