‘Well, This Could Be the Last Time, I Don’t Know!’

‘Well, This Could Be the Last Time, I Don’t Know!’
4.9
(36)

Don’t be so overdramatic, my wife always tells me.

But as I’ve spent 30 years of my life as a pseudo-luvvie, I’ve earned the right to have a good and proper flounce if I want one.

It was a weekend of severe illness. A urinary tract infection (UTI) poleaxed me without warning. I’m now so attuned to them that I only need the slightest sign to react. The merest urge to pee when I’ve just finished is the biggest giveaway these days.

In the past, my urine would smell literally fishy. Those days have passed with my now twice-a-day use of Hiprex (methenamine hippurate), which turns my urine into a disinfectant! I use it three or four times a day when I have a UTI. And I will always get a UTI because I’ve got a biofilm built up in my bladder.

Or, as my new urologist puts it: “This is a typical story of chronic urinary infection punctuated by acute exacerbations.” I can’t quote the full document, as it’s five pages long!

So, it’s not unusual for my urologist to have a printed sheet that perfectly fits my predicament. What is unusual is that she is one of the few urologists in the county to treat UTIs this way. I am outside National Health Service guidelines, taking two 100-mg prolonged-release capsules a day while the usual prophylactic dose is one. As soon as I get a UTI, I go up to three, which is the usual dose to deal with an infection.

Sorry if I bored you with all of this technical blather about my bladder.

This time, despite knowing all of this, a fever encompassed me so badly that it turned me into the epitome of a gibbering wreck. It was a real fight to come back from. But I made it, then all hell really broke out.

Suddenly, I was thrust onto Omaha Beach in the midst of the D-Day invasion. Bullets ripping through my body admittedly would have been no fun, but at least it would have offered blessed relief!

An attack of trigeminal neuralgia ripped through my mouth with a pain so bad the German secret police could have only dreamed they’d had the power to inflict it in World War II.

It was 10 a.m. on Tuesday. (I’m writing this at 2 p.m. on Wednesday.)

No matter, I had the medications to deal with it — oxcarbazepine —and I managed to get them down, which is tough during an attack.

Nothing.

The pain in my mouth went to 11!

It was now unending. Desperate, I managed to type trigeminal neuralgia (or something close) into my phone. Up popped the Wikipedia page, something we aren’t allowed to use as a source in this august (he was so much better than that Julius fella) tome, but I was desperate.

The beginning was all correct, then up popped baclofen and gabapentin as possible second-order protections. I’ve had both of these for my neuropathic arm.

Gabapentin was far too big of a pill to even consider for my febrile mouth, plus a doctor had told me that it worked more slowly anyway. So baclofen it was!

Thankfully, it worked. Two hours of the severest pain drifted off.

I’ve entered, not for the first time, the world of self-medication. As usual, it will take some time to travail the medical world for their sanction.

I honestly thought I’d never write another column. If my solution doesn’t hold, I still might not!

Adieu.

***

Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, BioNews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.

In the ‘80s, John created the first regular column about the burgeoning London stand-up scene. In 1990 he wrote a book about its effect on the Edinburgh Festival: “Comics: A Decade of Comedy at the Assembly Rooms.” That year he also devised and ran a live topical stand-up team show at The London Comedy Store, The Edge. (It was destroyed in 2020!) In 2009 John was diagnosed with RRMS, which cut short his main job as a TV casting director for “Black Books,” “My Family,” et al. Now, John writes “Fall Down Get Up Again,” an irreverent journey with MS, and also serves as MS News Today Forums co-moderator.
×
In the ‘80s, John created the first regular column about the burgeoning London stand-up scene. In 1990 he wrote a book about its effect on the Edinburgh Festival: “Comics: A Decade of Comedy at the Assembly Rooms.” That year he also devised and ran a live topical stand-up team show at The London Comedy Store, The Edge. (It was destroyed in 2020!) In 2009 John was diagnosed with RRMS, which cut short his main job as a TV casting director for “Black Books,” “My Family,” et al. Now, John writes “Fall Down Get Up Again,” an irreverent journey with MS, and also serves as MS News Today Forums co-moderator.
Latest Posts
  • sex, Great Escape, fluoxetine, santa claus, thanksgiving, forewarned, carers, urologist, adapt, beast, poo, rage, show, THC, off
  • sex, Great Escape, fluoxetine, santa claus, thanksgiving, forewarned, carers, urologist, adapt, beast, poo, rage, show, THC, off
  • sex, Great Escape, fluoxetine, santa claus, thanksgiving, forewarned, carers, urologist, adapt, beast, poo, rage, show, THC, off
  • sex, Great Escape, fluoxetine, santa claus, thanksgiving, forewarned, carers, urologist, adapt, beast, poo, rage, show, THC, off

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 4.9 / 5. Vote count: 36

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

As you found this post useful...

Follow us on social media!

We are sorry that this post was not useful for you!

Let us improve this post!

Tell us how we can improve this post?

6 comments

  1. John Cowburn says:

    I feel for you John! You have a shockingly bad time with MS. I also have SPMS but have nothing like your symptoms. Whenever I feel like moaning, I now think John Connor has it many times worse. I’m now 74 and was diagnosed 15 years ago, my neuro said at the time it was RR but I’m pretty certain it wasn’t, and was some form of progressive right from the start. I never had any relapses or remissions, it was just a steady downhill slide. Now in a wheelchair 95% of the time, I can sort of shuffle about 8 yards with a frame and that’s it. So keep on writing, it’s the best diary on MS I’ve seen! John

  2. Kim says:

    God bless you, John please keep on fighting & writing as long as you can! I do so enjoy your columns, I’ ve got 17 years of relapsing-remitting MS on my belt notches now, still puttering along. Have decided getting older doesn’t help . Thank you again

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *