A best friend’s support made a difference for me in college
How my roommate helped with the stress of assignments and RRMS symptoms
I knew that starting my college journey in a a different city, less than a year after receiving my relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis (RRMS) diagnosis, would be challenging because I didn’t fully understand what was happening in my body.
Even though my college, the University of Texas at Austin, is only about 90 minutes away from my home city of San Antonio, I felt like I was moving to a different state. And the move away from my mom and brother would make the transition especially difficult.
Luckily, a few of my close friends from high school were attending the same college, which eased my mind because they were aware of my diagnosis. But my best friend, Zharia, planned to enroll a semester late, so I played the waiting game during my entire first semester. When she enrolled, I felt I’d gained a piece of home.
The comfort of a best friend
Zharia Francis, left, and Desiree Lama at their college graduation. (Photo by Desiree Lama)
Fast forward to my second year of college, and Zharia and I decided to live together in an on-campus dormitory. That was the perfect living arrangement for me because, aside from my family, no one understood my diagnosis better than Zharia — not to mention that she was my best friend and we’d talked about living together for a while.
During that year, though, I experienced a relapse, which added a great deal of stress and hardship on my mental, physical, and emotional health. Navigating my relapse while managing the stressors of college, all without the close proximity of my family, put me in a not-so-good place. Fortunately for me, I had the most understanding, patient, and kind friend who eased my burdens.
I was dealing with a new symptom, hand tremors, at the time. One day Zharia and I were sitting in our British literature class when the tremors began worsening. I started tearing up in the middle of class, so I contacted my mom to pick me up and take me back to San Antonio to visit my neurologist. I left class abruptly because I felt overwhelmed, and Zharia said she’d catch me up on the classwork later.
After the class ended, Zharia returned to our dorm, where I’d been waiting for my mom to pick me up. When Zharia walked into the room, I immediately started sobbing, and she embraced me and comforted me through my emotional episode. She assured me that she’d always be there for me, even during rough times. And whenever I needed medicine, cooling packs, or a heating pad, she always ensured I had it.
Every night before we went to bed, we would talk about our days and vent to each other. Zharia always made me feel validated, seen, and heard when I discussed the toll of living with MS. She encouraged me while also making sure I didn’t push myself too hard. Throughout all of the ups and downs in my MS journey during college, Zharia was always by my side. Even though I was away from my family, I was never alone because Zharia was my home away from home.
Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.
About the Author
Jenny
It’s a lovely tribute to a wonderful friend , and to your friendship . Someone who stays in bad times is very special. And I am sure she knew you would be there for her.