My plants may be dying, but I’m learning how to thrive

April showers bring May flowers. However, I do not have a green thumb. No matter how hard I try, I continuously seem to murder my plants. My mom, on the other hand, is an avid gardener. When my plants show signs of distress, I take them to her for remedial care. She now has a “plant ER” section on her porch to care for my “chronic patients.”

Despite my lack of gardening skills, I’m focusing on watering myself this season — prioritizing habits that help me flourish and pruning away ones that don’t. Instead of simply surviving, the goal is to grow.

Just as plants don’t grow overnight, progress with multiple sclerosis (MS) takes time. Some days, it feels like all the watering, tending, and effort aren’t making a difference, but they are. The work we put into caring for ourselves, even when it feels like nothing is happening, is what feeds our roots and allows us to thrive in the long run.

I’ve learned this lesson the hard way. There have been seasons when I let self-care slip — ignoring the basics like nourishment, movement, and rest — only to feel the consequences days or weeks later. Neglecting self-care, like forgetting to water my plants, may not show right away, but eventually, the evidence is clear. Instead of treating maintenance as an emergency fix (like my plant ER visits), I’m working on making it a consistent practice.

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July 20, 2023 Columns by Benjamin Hofmeister

In life with multiple sclerosis, self-care is anything but selfish

Knowing what nourishes you

Just like different plants need different conditions, self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all. What works for one person with MS might not work for another. As a dietitian, I help others find balance and nourishment — yet I sometimes need reminders to practice what I preach.

Lately, I’ve been recommitting to the basics: choosing foods that truly nourish, making time for meals, and prepping so I’m set up even when my schedule shifts. Food is more than fuel; it’s self-care, and I feel the difference when I prioritize my diet.

Beyond nutrition, I’ve learned that sustenance also comes from how I spend my time. I feel most replenished when I take time to breathe — to disconnect, walk, sit on a porch swing, or listen to nature. Morning devotions and checking in with loved ones help me feel grounded.

And despite a sedentary job, I’m reminding myself to move. There’s a phrase in the MS community: use it or lose it. Currently, my mobility is affected more by artificial joints than MS, but small, consistent movements — stretching, walking, even standing more — help me maintain strength and function over time.

Boundaries as a greenhouse

As a recovering perfectionist, I’ve always felt the pull to do everything, all the time, for everyone. But the reality is that when I try to be everything to everyone, I end up burnt out, resentful, and running on empty. Prioritizing myself isn’t indulgent; it’s necessary. I’m learning to honor what I need — without guilt.

I’ve started viewing boundaries less as barrier walls and more like those of a greenhouse. They don’t shut people out; they create the right environment for growth. They protect the fragile parts, shield you from harsh conditions, and allow you to thrive in a manageable, sustainable space.

It’s not about caring less. It’s about honoring my limits so I can keep showing up — day after day — without needing an entire system reboot. Recently, I made a big shift in my professional life, starting a new job to better support my work-life balance. I’ve begun setting firmer limits with clients, not because I don’t want to give, but because I better understand the cost of giving more than I have.

Living with MS means working with a limited supply of energy — those infamous “spoons.” I’m learning to spend them wisely. Boundaries help protect what energy I do have so I can use it well.

The season of pruning

Spring isn’t just about growth; it’s also about letting go. Trees don’t cling to dead leaves, and flowers don’t hold wilted petals. They shed what no longer serves them to bloom.

For years, I’ve been harsher on myself than I’d ever be on anyone else. If a friend doubted themselves, I’d encourage them. If a client struggled, I’d offer them grace. But when it comes to me? I’ve been quick to criticize, doubt, or tell myself I’m not enough — and it’s exhausting.

This season, instead of tearing myself down, I’m learning to support myself. Instead of questioning if I’m “doing enough,” I’m acknowledging what I am doing. Growth doesn’t happen under constant scrutiny; it happens when we give ourselves space, patience, and care.

Thriving isn’t about forcing growth. It’s about creating the right conditions and trusting that, with time and care, we’ll bloom in our own way. So this season, I’m watering myself — not just to survive, but to flourish.

And just maybe, I’ll start remembering to water my plants, too.

Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.