I have a little anxiety about getting my upcoming MRI

Well, it’s that time of year again, and I’m not referring to allergy season or baseball. It’s time for my MRI to evaluate my multiple sclerosis (MS).

For the last three years, I was getting an MRI every 18 months. But at my last visit I saw a new neurologist, and she changed the frequency to every year. I don’t think it has anything to do with my MS progression; she just prefers annual evaluations.

I have lesions in my brain and spinal cord, so I have scans of my head and the cervical and thoracic spine. As a result, I’m in the machine for approximately three hours. It’s not painful, but it’s hard to lie perfectly still for that length of time.

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I’m not worried about the procedure, but I’m a little anxious about the results. When the scan is three hours, you have a lot of time alone with your thoughts, and that’s when I’m most vulnerable to my anxiety and doubts.

Based on MRIs, my MS has been stable for the past seven years. My MS symptoms have fluctuated over that time period, but I’ve had no new or active lesions based on the findings.

I try not to take my stability for granted, as I know it could change rapidly. I also try not to make the assumption that since I don’t have new symptoms, my MRI will reflect this. But it’s easy to think you’ll be OK when you feel that your MS is stable.

I know it’s common for people with MS to see their symptoms and/or disability worsen even if their MRI reflects no new or active lesions. That’s called “silent progression.” The opposite can also be true, but it’s less common for the person to have no new symptoms even though the MRI shows that the MS is active. That’s called “smoldering MS.”

When I have no new symptoms, it’s easy to tell myself, “My MS is stable.” But if something shows up on the MRI, I can’t continue to say that. I’m not sure I’m prepared for that possibility.

When my kids were growing up and anxious about something, I always told them that worrying was a waste of time, as the outcome would be the same whether or not you worry about it. I usually manage my anxiety using this motto. Most people would describe me as calm, cool, and collected most of the time.

We’ll see. My MRI appointment is two days away as I’m writing this column. I’m trying to remember that he results will be the same whether I worry about it or not. I hope it’ll be negative for new or active lesions. I’m trying to stay positive — and frequently reminding myself not to worry.

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