I’ve got many things to be thankful for, but I’m not thanking MS yet

“Don’t thank me yet.”

Whenever I use that phrase, I mean it in the way it’s traditionally meant. Whatever it is that you’re thanking me for isn’t complete, so wait until I’m done in case you’re not entirely thankful for the results. That’s how I’ve perceived the idiom for most of my life, but I’m now considering that it might have a slightly different meaning.

If multiple sclerosis (MS) could talk, or was even capable of caring whether or not I’m grateful, it would probably tell me not to thank it until I’ve considered all the reasons I shouldn’t. There’s a lot of good in my life, but I maintain that it’s in spite of MS, and not because of it. Every time it occurs to me to be grateful for something that could be considered a result of this disease, I can hear MS telling me, “Don’t thank me yet.”

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November 17, 2025 Columns by Leigh Anne Nelson

Thankfulness and gratitude: Finding joy in Thanksgiving with MS

Today is Thanksgiving in the U.S. — the day I’m supposed to think about all the things I’m thankful for. I plan on doing exactly that, but I refuse to pretend that MS is among them.

If asked, I could come up with a long list of reasons for which I am grateful. If you haven’t noticed, I’m cynical, but not that cynical. The following is just a break from tradition. A somewhat tongue-in-cheek way of expressing the things I think but never say aloud.

So, this year, instead of a traditional gratitude list, allow me to present a few items on my “unthankful” list.

What I’m not thankful for

First and foremost, I am not thankful that I spent most of last week in the hospital with pneumonia. (I’ll share more on that in next week’s column.) I’m grateful that we caught it when we did and cleared it up with the appropriate treatment. However, since it was most likely due to certain symptoms of my MS, I definitely feel like my chronic illness is laughing at me and telling me not to thank it yet.

I’m spending the holiday today with my extended family, and I am so thankful that my loved ones have gone out of their way to accommodate my needs. Being included never mattered to me as much as it does now. A ramp will be available so that I can get my wheelchair into the house, a bedroom and bathroom will be made accessible, and if I’m feeling particularly weak, people will jump at the chance to stuff food in my mouth. I’m not ready to thank MS yet, though. After all, I wouldn’t need any accommodations if it weren’t for the disease.

Speaking of food, my grandfather used to cook part of the traditional Thanksgiving meal, and I always intended to carry that on. I also intended to contribute my own dishes, but MS took away my ability to do so. I’m thankful that I get to spend the day with people I love, but once again, MS is reminding me that even though I’m participating, it’s never going to be in the way I’d like.

In addition to family, I’ll also exchange a ton of well wishes with friends today. For those who knew me long before MS entered my life, I am so grateful that we’re still friends, but I’m not thankful that you had to be put to the test. To the friends I’ve made in the MS community: You’re some of the best friends I’ve ever had, and I’m thankful for you, but I hesitate to thank MS because I’m not entirely grateful that the disease is what brought us together.

Charm probably hasn’t had much to do with it, but in many ways, I lead a charmed life. I know I sound bitter, and maybe I am a little. There are plenty of good things in my life that might be connected to living with MS. On this day — and on every day, really — I intend to give thanks, but I’m not ready to thank MS yet.

I’m sure I’m not the only one with a slightly snarky attitude. What’s on your unthankful list? Please share in the comments below or at the Multiple Sclerosis News Today Forums.

Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.