An MS diagnosis can be confusing when it doesn’t fit your lifestyle

A little over three years passed between my multiple sclerosis (MS) diagnosis and my medical retirement from the U.S. Army. Even before the diagnosis, I knew something was wrong and had taken a desk job while searching for the reason.

Since I was behind a desk in a swivel chair, I was chairborne rather than airborne, i.e., on jump (parachute) status. This felt a little clever while I was chalking up my MS symptoms to neglected knee and ankle injuries, but ceased to be so the second I knew I had a chronic condition.

Obviously, I eventually came to embrace this tongue-in-cheek title, especially since my mode of transportation these days is usually a (wheel)chair. But initially, my diagnosis made no sense to me or to others in my profession.

It wasn’t as though we in the Army were ignorant to the possibility of a disease, or even arrogant enough to think that it couldn’t happen to one of us. Our lives weren’t without risks, just not that one. In a world of known dangers, it was confusing in its randomness, and often still is.

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During my time at a desk, for example, a fellow medic (known in the service as an 18D) was badly injured overseas. While he was recovering in the hospital, I called to check on his progress and to ask if he needed anything. Immediately, and to my great astonishment, he told me that he’d heard about my MS diagnosis and wanted to tell me how sorry he was.

I thanked him, of course, but wondered why a guy who was going to spend the rest of his life on two prosthetic legs was sorry for me.

That’s an extreme case, but it was typical of the reaction my multiple sclerosis diagnosis got during my military life. The reason was simple. The life of a Special Forces Army soldier carries a certain amount of known and acceptable risk. (“Those who live by the sword —”; you know the rest.) No one expects to be injured (or worse), but the possibility is there and accepted. A random disease simply doesn’t fit the scenario.

Put another way, consider the risk of driving a car. We all know that an accident is possible. We probably even know someone who’s been in an accident. But we still accept that risk every time we get behind the wheel. A crash while driving fits the scenario, but choking on a bite of fast food in a parking lot does not.

I’m certainly not above this way of thinking and am speaking from the benefit, and curse, of hindsight. I often wonder how long I may have delayed my diagnosis because I didn’t consider MS. I don’t know that it would’ve made a difference, but I’m haunted by the possibility that it might have.

Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, BioNews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.