A comprehensive collective nouns list for multiple sclerosis
What collective nouns would you use to describe MS?
For someone like me, who is retired and has three preteen children, the days surrounding Christmas and New Year’s feel like a liminal space. With no school or job to be at and no real schedule to keep, the days seem to run together without anything to orient them.
They’re also very short in the Northern Hemisphere right now, but the sun’s position might still give me some approximation of time — if I’d bothered to go outside in the last couple days.
I’m currently wearing the same pajamas I had on yesterday, and I just ate some breakfast casserole, so I think it’s morning, but during the holiday season, neither of those is a good indicator of time. I was just in the kitchen and could’ve looked at the clock on the stove, but I didn’t. Instead, I’m going to park my wheelchair in a cozy, out-of-the-way spot and look up obscure things on the internet.
Today’s obscure thing was inspired by looking out the window at my bird feeder and seeing a group of finches. I found myself wondering what the collective noun for finches is, so I had to look it up. In case you’re curious (and even if you aren’t), a group of finches is called a charm or a trembling, among others. Naturally, I couldn’t stop, so I continued reading about all sorts of names for different animal groups: a murder of crows, a skulk of foxes, a crash of rhinoceroses (which I’m unlikely to see at my bird feeder) … that sort of thing.
Then, because it’s how I’m wired these days, I immediately thought of multiple sclerosis (MS). After brainstorming with friends who also have this annoying disease, we came up with a few collective nouns for some of the symptoms of MS. Here’s what we’ve come up with so far:
A shock of Lhermitte’s sign
A crush of fatigue
A blurring of vision
A haze of cog fog
A scrape of wheelchairs
A clench of hands
A pinch of gait belts
A glare of strangers
A tug of therapists
A puddling of Uhthoff’s syndrome
A frown of neurologists
A concern of caregivers
A torque of falls
An irrelevance of wants
A confine or din of MRIs
A trickle of incontinence
A suffering of spasms
A slump of rollators
A stump of canes
A clutch or bind of MS hugs
A trip or drag of foot drop
A blaze of paresthesia
A hive of crawling sensations
An awkwardness or reluctance of questions
A backlog of constipation (sorry)
A mystery of bruises
A deluge of despair
A drowning of disappointment
A stagger of movement
A waggle of tremors
A surplus of spasticity
An unkindness of multiple sclerosis
This list is by no means complete, so I’m hoping you’ll add to it either in the comments below or at the Multiple Sclerosis News Today Forums. I know there will be a lot of “I should have thought of that one!” moments, but I can’t wait to see what you come up with.
Happy holidays, everyone!
Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.
About the Author
Nancy
A pound of headaches
Heather Daniels
How about a murder of whatever virus/bacteria/immune issue that caused the MS in each of us!
Great article, thanks for making me smile. I've been living with PPMS since 2016.
God bless you.
Tammy Schutt
I have nothing to add at the moment— except a comment. This brought a smile! Well done!
Dania Magee
It is very frustrating to battle with insurance for apr. Risk life of pat
Mary Hinze
A blowout in the “briefs*” (or Adult disposable underwear).
The mundasity of MS malaise.
The enervation of MS lassitude.
*I was informed that if it does not have the tabs to do up like a babies diaper, it is not an “adult diaper or pull-up diaper” but a brief regardless of the sex.
Bonnie Porcelli
Happy holidays to you.
Lars. Olives
Give me a break
Jonelle Jozwiak
I so enjoy reading your stories! I took was a medical person(PT) in the army when I was diagnosed with RRMS. Kinda threw me for a loop. 3 years ago i finally retired. I was able to work for 25 years after my diagnosis though it was less and less as time went on.
Thank you so much for your honesty and funny antidotes. Stay strong Ben!
Jonelle CPT USA Ret
Daphne Anderson
Neuropathy
Diane A Lombardi
Bring it on!
and chronic compounding cog fog should be added for all to our sarcastic new comedy routine.
Please consider making some cash to pay for whatever is the issues du jour.
love,
Diane
Michele B. Lesmeister
Hi Benjamin,
I will add to your wonderful list:
A wonderment of the unknown
A scattering of skin sensations
A battery of finger knife cuts
This post really hit the spot for me post-holiday. Thank you; I read your posts often.
Jane Carrie Hoffman
That's a great list. I've always thought that we can makeup words to describe how we're feeling and that MS has its own lexicon!
I call all the sensory sensation that is quieted a bit by gabapentin, "nerve noise."
Nancy Rochelle
An inkling of irritation?
Nancy
Garth Jensen
A great list Ben. I can often think of a few more but I need to set up a little computer database to be able to recall them when I need them.
I'll keep your list handy and on paper or my phone and use it when I need to.
Cheers to all from Garth in New Zealand.
M Conrad
A Bundle of imbalance!
Anne McGinn
Clutch of catheters
Thanks for this transformative list. Funny-not funny
I’m in Chicago
Anne
Mike Purcell
What is a rollator?
Tracy Peterson
A flood of tears
Merlene Cook
A porcupine of hot feet
Laura L. Colomb
A word without recall
A word wrongly said
A mental block
A lost thought
A lost heart
A hot flash
A energy crash
A cold clammy body Bath
A drunken stagger
A crawl to remember
A crash & gash
A barbwire Crown
A hail of nails
Wendy R Hovey
A rainstorm of disagreements
A rainbow of forgivenesses
A mask of smiles
A torrent of whyme's
A shawl of acceptance
Susanne Roy
That’s a pretty depressing list of MS nouns to read.
Jill J Staup
Hello, I'm interested in new Medication Trials that are prescribed for other Dx that could potentially benefit MS patient's also, such as Diabetes medication.
Tommy B McDonell
What a hoot. Now as my MS goes down hill and I am not in a wheelchair, isn’t the collective bird list approved or sanctioned or whatever. In other words it’s real? While the MS group is exceedingly descriptive and funny but not based in or on anything.
I went for PT for the first time in two years for my MS and balance. My main *problem* is cognition (which in 1995 of my diagnosis wasn’t thought as something we got.
Let’s come up with a list that some of us have and docs don’t measure or categorize.
Dixie Barnhart
A league of surprises, a reckoning of gifts, a clutch of appointments, a universe of beginnings. Your articles are always amusing as well as helpful so keep posting here even in the middle of the night.
jan
Delightful column by Mr H. Combination of humour, esoteric knowledge and permission to stay in jammies, eat chocolate, and read by the fire. Pretend electric fire, will do.
Val
An ocean of tremors
An unstopable earthquake
An uninvited guest
Judy Richardson
I don’t know whether you checked with enough female friends on incontenance but I would have immediate answered with “a flood of incontenance”. Only my regular iinternal Botox injections reduce it to a “trickle”. When the trickle gets progressively heavier do I book my next appointment with the Uro-gynae Clinic before it turns into my regular flood. Being in Australia, all treatments are free except for a charge of $Au9.00 for the Botox.