Why judging yourself based on the past is unhealthy

With three preteen boys and one soon-to-be 50-year-old child in the house, we watch a lot of animated television. On the occasion when we watch another genre, it’s usually a nature show or historical documentary. We recently watched the latter, a documentary on the golden age of piracy in the Caribbean. It definitely favored the point of view of the pirates.

One of my kids noted the obvious slant and asked if it was correct, given that according to the law at the time, the pirates were criminals. The question was an excellent opening to discuss both the concept of moral relativism and the pros and cons of judging the past by the standards of today. Before my sons realized that they were learning against their will, I think I managed to give them something to think about.

It definitely gave me something to think about, but maybe not what you’d imagine. A lot has been written about these subjects, and you can decide for yourself where you stand on them. As such, I didn’t give them a whole lot of thought. Instead — as is my norm these days — while I was lying in bed before sleep, I thought about my multiple sclerosis (MS) and how those concepts relate to it.

Recommended Reading

May 23, 2024 Columns by Benjamin Hofmeister

How Army terms help orient me, even today

One thing I decided was that with MS, I don’t necessarily judge the past by using the standards of today. Instead, I often catch myself doing the opposite: judging today by the standards of the past. Usually, that means my pre-MS past. If I’m struggling to accomplish a task today, my mind will drift back to a time when that task would’ve been easy for me to finish. It’s pretty easy to judge chronically ill me by using healthy me as a standard of measure, but that’s an unhealthy approach.

I don’t even have to reach as far as my pre-diagnosed past to do this. I can judge myself by what I was able to do last week, yesterday, or even this morning. I know how illogical it is to think there’s a difference between the distant past and the recent one, but I do it anyway. In fact, I’m probably more prone to chastise myself over my health and abilities today versus last week.

I imagine that any loss, no matter how small, experienced in a shorter time frame than normal just hurts more because it’s a fresh cut. Maybe the idea of time healing all wounds just means that time requires more than 24 hours.

To sum it up, moral relativism is the idea that there isn’t absolute right or wrong. I won’t dwell on that here except to say that it gave me the idea of what I call “MS relativism.” This disease has no absolutes. It doesn’t seem to conform to any checklists, rules, or schedules. As such, I can’t judge anyone else with the disease by using myself as a standard, or vice versa.

In the same way, I shouldn’t judge the current me by the standards of the past me. Unfortunately, I do that anyway, especially if the distance between past and present is short.

I must realize — and maybe you should, too — that yesterday’s 100% is never the same as today’s, and it’s folly to try to compare them. I think that everyone, with or without a chronic disease, needs to adopt this idea: If you gave only 40% today, but all you had was 40%, then you gave 100%.

Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.