In life with multiple sclerosis, you can’t wait until you get around to it

The other day, my kids asked if they could go through the jar of coins on my dresser. It’s been sitting there for a while because, like the majority of people with a jar of loose change, I hardly ever touch it.

They hoped to find some rare coins, but the odds of that weren’t very good. There were a few older ones in there and a bit of foreign currency, but nothing really rare or valuable. The one thing I was hoping they’d run across was a certain wooden coin that I’ve been missing for a while and need now more than ever.

The coin in question is a “round tuit,” and it’s supposed to motivate a person who’s guilty of saying they’ll do something as soon as they get around to it.

“Get around to it” is a common U.S. idiom, and for me it’s often meant that l’ll probably never do it. I wrote about motivation last month, so that likely explains my interest in this subject. I’m also guilty of procrastinating. I always have been, but I think it’s gotten a lot worse since I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS).

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I recently ran across a Psychology Today article that listed 11 key ways to get motivated. Having an odd-numbered list bothers me a little for reasons that I can’t quite explain, but this one is great. A possible touch of imparnumerophobia (fear of odd numbers) notwithstanding, I wanted to share the four items from the article that spoke to me as particularly motivating.

The first is to “be acquainted with your values.” This point was fresh on my mind because I explored it early in talk therapy. What’s most important to you? I suppose I should say, what’s most important to you now? It may seem as if a life with MS changes our values, but maybe it only changes how we embody them. Reliability is one of mine, but it seemed impossible to attain with the inconsistencies of this disease. Fortunately, it’s not; I just had to approach it differently. It’s a shame it took me a while to get around to it.

Speaking of the inconsistencies of MS and its symptoms, the next item from my short list is radical flexibility. Multiple sclerosis is cruelly flexible. It’s never the same day to day, week to week, or year to year. Good mental health demands that we be flexible to deal with it. I don’t like having to adapt to MS, but adapting is definitely another example of things that can’t be done only when I get around to it. I had to learn how to bend so that I wouldn’t break.

Another point from the list that speaks to me is leveraging “positive social influence.” I didn’t have good luck with support groups right away, and I ended up shutting them off for nearly four years. When I finally got around to it, I’d missed four years of interacting with others who deal with MS. I’d love to say that I can do everything on my own, but that isn’t remotely true. A good support network should be treasured. I’m glad I have mine and would encourage you to find yours, if you haven’t already.

Finally, I’d encourage everyone with or without MS to practice self-compassion. That isn’t the same as self-pity. I think I confused the two for a long time, and I wish I could have that time back. I’m my own harshest critic, but I’ve discovered that I can be motivating without being harsh. Giving myself grace isn’t something I was instantly good at; in fact, I’m still not that great at it. But I got around to it, and I’m working on it.

I don’t think I’ll ever be done working on myself for as long as I have MS. Barring a cure, that’ll be the case for the rest of my life, so I should be working on myself for that long. It might get easier, but it sure won’t always be easy. I’m glad I got around to trying, and I don’t plan on stopping.

I suppose the next coin I need is a “stick tuit.”

Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.