Military lessons come in handy for a family living with MS

Following every training exercise and mission I was ever a part of in the military, participants gathered to conduct an After-Action Review (AAR). Although the process has been formalized in the U.S. military, soldiers have probably been doing something similar for millennia, and it’s certainly not limited to that profession. It is a vital part of learning from and improving coordinated actions in any endeavor.

The Army version of an AAR, which is the only one I really know, consists of four parts. First, the original plan is restated to note what was supposed to happen. This is followed by a recap of what actually happened, which, for good reasons, is typically the longest part. Then any differences between those two, or what went wrong, are discussed, along with possible solutions or ways to improve in the future. Finally, the review concludes on a positive note by pointing out what occurred that should be sustained.

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There’s no training for MS

Multiple sclerosis (MS) is definitely not an exercise, or if it is, I never got any training. It is, however, my mission each and every day, even if it’s one that my family and I don’t want and never signed up for. We never conduct an intentional AAR after a day’s events, but I’ve noticed we sometimes talk through the elements of one as a way to understand and improve life with this disease. Each day with MS is unique, and there are many examples of this, but I’ll use going to a restaurant as a common and recent one.

The first step is to rehash what was supposed to happen. In this case, my family of five loads up in our accessible vehicle, secures my wheelchair, and drives to the agreed-upon restaurant. Once there, we park in a designated accessible spot next to a wheelchair-loading zone, exit the vehicle, and enter using the ramp closest to the parking spot. Once inside, we sit at the table we’re shown to, order drinks and entrees, and finish by paying and loading back up for the trip home.

Next is the long part, or what actually happened. It’s long because everyone involved gets a chance to speak and explain their actions, including why they may have deviated from the original plan. This is vital so that everyone else involved understands what happened and why. It’s also why it’s important for this to take place as soon as possible after an event, so that everything is still fresh in everyone’s minds.

In our restaurant example, both disabled parking spots that bordered the loading zone were taken, so my wife let the kids and me out in the parking lot near the entrance before parking the van. Later, she wondered why we had not gone to the closest ramp and instead used the one on the side of the restaurant. Since everyone gets to speak, the kids and I were able to fill her in on something she didn’t see. In this case, the ramp in front was blocked, so we went to the farther one.

What went wrong, what went right

Once inside at our table, I couldn’t pull up to my usual spot on a corner because of the table’s legs, so my wife suggested a spot in the middle because she could see obstacles under the table that I couldn’t. After ordering, because I did not bring my cup with a lid, straw, and handle, we had to improvise with a regular glass. The rest of the meal passed without incident, including me being able to use the provided silverware. We loaded up and completed the mission with our arrival at home.

In the third part, we discussed what went wrong with the original plan, including the unavailability of the parking spot, a blocked handicap ramp, obstructive table legs, and a lack of my regular cup. After identifying each issue, ways to improve before the next mission were presented. The occupied parking spots and blocked ramp were outside of our control. As for pulling up to the table, the way to improve is to always have someone with a clear view underneath it to direct me. I also need to remember to bring my adapted cup, although we were able to improvise.

Finally, there were plenty of parts of our evening that we can sustain. The kids secured me into our van in record time, which started the mission on a positive note. We were able to adapt to any and all unplanned scenarios quickly and successfully, mostly because we were acting on lessons learned from our previous dining-out missions.

With MS, it seems like there’s always something new to adapt to each day. It’s easier when you review past missions, even informally, instead of having to relive them.

Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.