No more ‘Independence Day’ for this tentative road worrier
About a month ago, I embarked on what might have been my last-ever solo outing. You can file it away with my other lasts: sitting down and getting off the sofa on my own,…
Fall Down, Get Up Again
— John Connor
In the ‘80s, John Connor created the first regular column about the burgeoning London stand-up scene. In 1990 he wrote a book about its effect on the Edinburgh Festival: “Comics: A Decade of Comedy at the Assembly Rooms.” That year he also devised and ran a live topical stand-up team show at The London Comedy Store, The Edge (It was destroyed in 2020!). In 2009 John was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting MS, which cut short his main job as a TV casting director for “Black Books,” “My Family,” et al. Now, John writes “Fall Down Get Up Again,” an irreverent journey with MS.
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This is what happens when I actually take the weekend off
A few columns back, I wrote about my lack of time to get anything done. Sure, the way around it would be to get up infernally early — well, early for me. But…
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A rather quiet week is interrupted by rectal mucus discharge
The original title for this week’s column wasn’t so much of a headline, but more of an essay. I had to shorten it. I’d also better write a bit more here so that my…
And a good time was had by the sclerosis boys
I haven’t seen my mate Nige for years. Actually, to his face I call him Nigel, but it’s Nige when I, or anyone else, talk about him in the third person. It’s weird —…
A quiet MS week that’s just too darned loud to think
Big breath, for my travails below necessitate a catch-up on my story so far. For once, my multiple sclerosis and the myriad joyous comorbidities it’s conferred on me — trigeminal neuralgia, lymphedema,…
Aggressive MS has me depressed for one whole day
How do you start a column about depression that isn’t, well, depressing? That’s a question for me to answer rather than you lot. If you’re still reading this week’s musings, then so far…
You’ve got a Napoleon complex, you have, mate
I don’t have a Napoleon complex in the sense of being small. My body still spans 6 feet, though that’s only when I’m lying down; I doubt I get anywhere near 5 feet tall…
Yet another urinary tract infection causes a complete change of plans
What follows is something of an emergency column. All of yesterday’s writing had to be scrapped. I’m now down at the bottom of Column Mountain, squinting up through the clouds and mist, trying to…
The itch that turned into an outbreak of yet another comorbidity
It’s a new week, so it’s time for a new comorbidity. Not content with affecting my brain, spine, and bodily functions, secondary progressive multiple sclerosis is now making my body break down at…
Oh, how far we’ve come since the ‘Victorian Era’ of treating MS
In 2010, I strolled into a new hospital to meet my new neurologist. In them there far-off days, I was indeed strolling — nay, striding — but it wouldn’t last. I was surrounded by…
What I should’ve been told about clinically isolated syndrome and MS
In 2007, at age 47, I had my first-ever consultation with a neurologist. It was during my longest-ever hospital stay, as of then — a whopping eight days. It amazed me that some of…
MS comorbidities make me a stranger in a strange body
I was never a hypochondriac until multiple sclerosis (MS) whacked me. A catastrophic fall while playing tennis in 2007 resulted in a shoulder separation that took two operations to fix. The pain was…
What started as a simple problem turned into a complex kerfuffle
Long ago, I acquired a pair of speakers for my laptop. In fact, they’ve survived many, many iterations of the things. Laptops become outdated quickly, their inbuilt fans fail, or, as in my latest…
Reflections from the front line, take 2: If only all hospitals were like this
As last week’s column ended, I’d just negotiated with my ambulance driver and paramedics to take me to any London hospital other than the one where I’d spent the Christmas months. They…
Reflections from the front line, take 2: Back into the fray
There was no column from me last week, and here follows the reason why: “In the wee small hours,” as Frank Sinatra so eloquently crooned, I, too, was abruptly awake. Only…
I get no kick from champagne — but what a kick I get from steroids
It’s only day one, but my eyesight has already improved. It may not be that of a hawk’s, but at least I can tell the difference between a lumbering pigeon and a bird of…
There’s more to life than this (expletive) MS, and other stories
Nobody’s life is eternal, but let’s face it, peeps: Much of the psyche of a multiple sclerosis (MS) patient is internalized. I spend an inordinate amount of time, physical and mental, on my…
I can’t make my own bed or even lie in it!
For most of the past six years, I’ve been suffering from that weekly journo disease known as “columnitis.” One column is finished, hurrah! Bathe in the relief of getting that one in the net.
Weighing the costs and benefits of care for my aggressive MS
It’s not often that I dig into my somewhat sketchy knowledge from the Bachelor of Arts in economics I earned in 1980. Admittedly, it should really be described as ugly. Although I scrapped nearly…
Up at 9, in bed by 8, yet still no time?
My sleep schedule, according to mathematics, leaves me 11 hours — so what’s my problem? My current ultra-efficient carers arrive at 9:30 a.m. and usually get me into the wet room 15 minutes later.
