My Wedding Anniversary Reminds Me to Find Strength in Silver Linings
How this columnist's MS diagnosis affected her relationship with her husband
It’s in my nature to get a little reflective around significant dates, such as New Year’s and the changing of the seasons. I love that these occasions represent change and starting fresh.
So celebrating my seventh wedding anniversary on Aug. 29 has made me rather contemplative, more so than in previous years. I’ve been thinking a lot about the journey my husband and I have been on since I was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis (RRMS) in 2016. It’s been a little like one of those mystery trips where you pay for your tickets, but don’t know where you’re going until the day you leave.
I’d be lying if I said we haven’t faced our fair share of tumultuous events in the 13 years of our relationship, from multiple pregnancy losses and fertility struggles to my RRMS diagnosis. Fertility issues alone are enough to test the strength of a relationship, and the aggressive onset of my MS less than a year after our wedding certainly took its toll.
Instead of settling into wedded bliss, we found ourselves immersed in the chaos and confusion of a diagnosis that would change our lives forever. We were unable to fully process what was happening because of how aggressive my progression was. A paralyzing relapse caused my husband to become my carer almost overnight. At rock bottom, my mobility was so limited from my waist down that I was unable to roll over in bed, much less climb the stairs to our bedroom. Dignity became a thing of the past. My husband had to help me dress, wash, and go to the toilet.
As we emerged from the tumultuous storm of my paralysis and began to process not only what had happened, but also the implication of the diagnosis on our lives, marriage, and future, we realized that something good would come out of the hell of the previous few months. Through all the frustrations and snappy exchanges, a new level of closeness and intimacy was born between us.
I always try to find the silver linings in things that happen, and while they can be elusive in the depths of dark times, I find that they eventually make themselves known. We may not have bought the ticket for our MS journey, but it’s been one hell of a ride — one that has only served to make us stronger.
Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.
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