Among all my symptoms, MS has also granted me significant gifts
The disease has taken a lot from me, but I also recognize what it's given
Between celebrating my birthday and Christmas, December has always been a month for gifts. If my wish list when growing up featured a relatively expensive item, my birthday and Christmas presents would give way to one special present celebrating both.
One year my great-aunt took me shopping to pick out a watch as one of those special gifts for birthday and Christmas. When it came time to open presents, I chose a box that was exactly the size for a watch. I was so excited; I ripped through the wrapping paper and spent a minute admiring the box. But when I opened it, my watch was not inside. Instead, there was a Homer Simpson watch from Burger King, and it said something like “Mmmm Burger” when a button was pressed.
My great-aunt, with her good sense of humor, had hidden my watch using the age-old box-inside-a box-inside-a-box prank.
A couple of years later, I was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis, and my first significant symptom was vision problems. Those impairments also robbed me of that watch, as I could no longer focus enough to read the time.
Multiple sclerosis (MS) constantly takes. It can steal away dreams, careers, and relationships, rob us of our physical and cognitive abilities, and, at its worst, take away the pride and self-esteem that come with being independent.
The gifts of my MS
I realize that a common approach to life with MS is to live it despite the disease, not letting it define you. In my case, I was diagnosed at such a young age, 16, that MS has strongly defined my life. And while my disease course robbed me of a lot of talents, abilities, and opportunities, it’s ultimately given back to me in big ways.
MS, after all, is the reason I stumbled on nutrition as a career, found a voice for advocacy, and developed a new family in the chronic illness community. It’s also why I’ve learned new skills: connecting, listening, expressing empathy, adapting to changing circumstances, and letting go of paralyzing perfectionism.
Most of all, MS has given me a daily appreciation for the family and friends who form my support team. Some days still overflow with frustration and grief, but when MS steals another piece of me or my abilities, these people are always there to pick me up. And with my mobility issues and multiple hip replacement surgeries, I mean this quite literally. Sometimes they’re physically hoisting me up and helping me balance so I don’t fall.
And that great-aunt? She’s taught me to laugh at MS and use humor to cope without brushing aside the seriousness of my condition.
I’m grateful to have shaped a career through my experiences with MS, and I feel fortunate that I’m not more debilitated than I am after battling this thief for roughly 20 years. Life with MS isn’t easy, and I’m not sure I consider having this disease to be a gift itself. MS was a box I never wanted to open, and it’s robbed me of many things. If I open enough boxes, however, I realize how many unexpected yet invaluable gifts MS has given me as well.
Nevertheless, an MS cure, along with a therapy to reverse the damage the disease causes, still remains at the top of my grown-up wish list for December.
Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.
About the Author
Gary Robert Watkins.
Hi Anna my daughter was diagnosed at 16 to but she had it way earlier than that so I completely understand and think you understand very well oh and I have MS to but I have primary progress and I’m learning all the time and than you happy Christmas and a very happy nice and very wonderful new year xx love and light always Gary
Merlene Cook
The onset of MS at 19 has had me regroup and continually change my path. 55 years later I am still changing the path I journey. Exhausted at times .... but, supported friends and family have travelled with me. My MS changed their lives too. The conflict of disappointment and appreciation meet me daily. Uncertanty how each day presents itself. Hope is what I have leaned on . Trying not to go down the rabbit hole. The decease is difficult enough but the accompant of regret is a daily mind game. That never goes away. More empathy of others struggles and apprection of others is the gift I received from MS.
Chrystelle MERI
Thank you Ahna for this article!
I'm also a December "baby"!
It's so true that MS takes a lot out of us, without asking permission. But it has also brought me a lot of gifts: early retirement, a blue badge, ability to be the first to board on planes!!! So, we just got to keep on living despite all the challenges it gives to us. Stay well, merry Christmas! 🎁🎄🎁
Felipe De Bene
I connected with your story in so many ways, thanks for sharing.
Lisa
This is beautifully written and expressed! Thank you for writing it!! As someone with 20 years into this MeSs I am thankful for people who can help us wrap our heads around it all and come out better equipped to deal with it!! We deserve to live our best lives even if it’s not how you thought your story would go! 💝🧡
Chulani Wijetunga
Thank you Ahna for the beautifully written article. I respect and admire your positive attitude towards life. MS destroys not only those affected by the illness but also the close family members who suffer in silence. A cure for MS is the only wish I have in my list at Christmas time. My very best wishes to you.