Trading Teacups for Buckets: Keeping Dreams Alive with SPMS
They say that the only certainties in life are death and taxes. While I agree with these two, a third inevitability is capitulation. Why do we have theme parks when we have lives? We have highs and lows and homeostasis in-between. Just when you think it is safe to exhale, life takes a precipitous turn.
I find it interesting that epiphanies often follow a painful experience. As you catch your breath and your pulse lowers you close your eyes. What was that? You look around as if the phenomenon is external. Your brain then catches up with the rest of you. Nice try, multiple sclerosis (MS).
This was my weekend in a nutshell.
Many of us live with fatigue. I feel fatigued all of the time, but I also experience catatonic spells that hit hard and fast and render me quasi-comatose. I had a spell of fatigue over the weekend. Finally, after two hours, I gathered the strength to make it to my mailbox. The 30-yard round trip was enough. I sat as I read my mail.
Amid the flurry of junk mail was my handicapped placard. My immediate thought was gratitude. How can this simple placard invoke such thanks? It represents freedom to a world I might otherwise miss. When my neurologist first issued me a permanent placard, I broke down. My, how times have changed. Was it time or perspective? Perhaps, a little of both. I put it aside when an email came through. It was from my sister with an attached video montage of her skydiving.
Skydiving has been on my bucket list for years. My super-sacred, secret list. The list that by now would fit into a teacup. Let me preface, I am nothing but proud of, and exhilarated for, my sister. She is fierce in her own right.
And I, in mine.
It is time to toss the teacup and get a big bucket. My dreams of hiking Machu Picchu and falling from the sky will live on as such. This does not equate to fewer aspirations; it merely presents an opportunity to create new ones.
This can be a challenge. It is often easier to sit and cry than to rise and thrive. You will never win over your sense of self through tears of pity. I speak from experience. Dare to create a new bucket list. Buy a bucket and write on it the words which most inspire you. This is your dream board.
Write each item on individual pieces of paper. As you knock them off, remove the paper. The key is to keep your bucket full. Life is best lived when we have a litany of dreams. Keep the cycle going. You will find an insatiable hunger for life.
Build your dreams and they will come true.
While you are at it, toss the teacups.
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