The constant light in my cell burned through my eyelids all night. Every night for days now. Prostrate on my back, I couldn’t even turn over to get away from it. Why me? I knew nothing. Wasn’t part of any organization. Had no power. Couldn’t influence anyone. How did I…

Monday Unlike Prince, my Monday wasn’t manic. It was barreling along quite sedately until my wife, Jane, casually noted, “Remember, you’ve got a dental appointment on Wednesday morning.” Er, no, I hadn’t remembered. It was somewhat churlish of me, as I’d been waiting for this appointment for nigh on…

Today’s youth have to accumulate a range of skills. Everything changes so fast. Parents often have no idea what career their kids even want to follow. Do you know what a UX designer is? Me, neither. This latest social change was revealed to me in a recent Guardian article,…

The vagaries of multiple sclerosis are always present, but this week, my waking hours have been consumed by something far more important. I say waking hours, but we have to discount much of that time, because I’m put to bed at the early hour of 10 p.m. and spend several…

It was my birthday last Friday. No cards, please; it’s far too late. Anyway, considering the world’s supply chain disruption, I’d be well on the way to my next by the time it arrived! Just a small social gathering of immediate family. Six of us demolished 150 quids’ —…

So, yes, I’ve been away for four weeks. Anybody miss me? Well not away as such. There are places with hoists — even a specialist camper van you can hire here in the United Kingdom — but matching that with a profiling bed makes for quite the elusive Venn…

It’s all happening at once. Yesterday, a box turned up with my new lymphedema wraps, which use compression to help reverse my lymphedema symptoms. I’ve been waiting for the wraps for nearly a month. It turns out I’m such an unusual size that they had to be imported from…

Last month, my brother-in-law finally managed to return to Thailand and his lovely wife. He’d been trapped in the U.K. for over a year due to COVID-19. Thailand has quite rightly imposed a Kafkaesque set of rules about entering the country on an extended immigrant visa. Luckily, we had…

For any younger readers, and by that I’m guessing 45 and under, may I present the cartoon character Popeye the Sailor Man. He got himself out of scrapes by downing a can of spinach, which supercharged his muscles. There was none of that nonsense of de-stalking raw young leaves…

So, where off Earth have I been? Nothing as adventurous as a space flight, I’m afraid, but a more prosaic litany of mishaps. First, I did crash, but that was from a vicious steroid withdrawal. My body went limp. Later, it would become even limper. A small wound on…

When I was finally diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2009, my first question to my neurologist was, “Will I end up in a wheelchair?” She patted this question back with the generic, “You may, but no one knows the course that anyone’s MS might take.” Later, I learned that late-onset…

I have two regular carers at the moment. The first to arrive greets me with her usual efficacious, “Good morning, John!” She’s loud enough to wake the whole street. Luckily, my neighbors should be up anyway, as my carers are booked for 11 a.m. each weekday. I have mentioned in…

It’s 1 p.m. in the U.K., and it’s 90 degrees Fahrenheit. I can hardly move due to the heat. My left hand is typing this. The rest of my body has shut down. Tomorrow is forecast to be the hottest July day in recorded history in the U.K. I had set…

OK, I’ve used a typical tabloid headline to draw you into a column about dealing with lymphedema. Well, the topic is not exactly sexy! Though my calves are now extremely toasty due to being effectively embalmed. Lymphedema has been plaguing me for years now. There seems to be…

Now, I’m all for complimentary comments on my columns, and in the combative world the internet has engendered, the stroppy ones, too. But it’s when you lot start writing to each other that I know I’ve hit something. Which is a good thing, however irrelevant I then feel. A…