relationships

Doctors and nurses involved in the care of people with multiple sclerosis (MS) at a center in Scotland “highly” value the existence of a Pelvic Health Clinic for referrals — where patients identified as having concerns related to sexual health can be referred for consultation for guidance and care…

Well, there’s a new carer at home, actually, but town sounds so much cooler. Like an old-time Western sheriff! My dear wife, Jane, has taken a few days off to attend an ayurvedic yoga retreat, so I’m without the care of She Who Really Must Be Obeyed. (I’ve…

In this installment of our “Expert Voices” series, Multiple Sclerosis News Today asked psychologist Gayle Lewis, PhD, to answer some of your questions related to sex and intimacy for people with multiple sclerosis (MS) and their partners.  Gayle Lewis is a psychologist and psychoanalyst currently in private practice in New…

Well, that was fun. I’ve got my party hat on from a recent birthday (of course I have one, it’s my trusty trilby! See my avatar above) and have been out and about having a lot of fun. I splurged by spending time with family and friends, ’cause…

This week, I had a conversation with my eldest son about the importance of saying “I’m sorry,” and making amends when you harm someone or have done something you shouldn’t have. He had made a mistake, spoke words in anger, and felt terrible about it later. I explained to him…

“Hurricane MS,” which is how I refer to the aggressive nature of my MS progression, happened quickly and mercilessly. I am aware that my case is particularly unusual, given how aggressive its onset was. This is one of the reasons I feel a sense of purpose in sharing my story…

Meeting people and dating is challenging for people with multiple sclerosis (MS), but the experience of dating is highly personal and influenced by past experiences and beliefs, a small study reveals. The study, “Dating with a Diagnosis: The Lived Experience of People with Multiple Sclerosis,” was published in…

More than half of people with multiple sclerosis (MS) who require an informal caregiver have experienced abuse or mistreatment by that caregiver, according to a study conducted in California. The study, “Validity and Reliability of the Scale to Report Emotional Stress Signs–Multiple Sclerosis (STRESS-MS) in Assessing…

It’s with a heavy heart that I write this. I don’t want to, but I have to do what’s right. This will be my last column. Lately, things have been crazy busy for me, with a mix of expected events, such as moving to a new home, and a few unexpected…

“Do you need help?” The question came from a 30-something woman after I’d finished loading some cartons into the back of my SUV. I automatically replied, “No thanks, all done.” But lifting and loading isn’t an easy job for me. My upper body strength is good, but my legs are…

“Look on the bright side.” Someone just said this to me days ago regarding the loss of a very dear friend. The bright side? I demanded to know what the bright side of this situation could be. There was no satiable explanation given in that moment. I am also…

My grandson, John, turned 5 in May, and my granddaughter, Hayden, turned 7 in June. I love being their Poppy, but I wish their Poppy didn’t have MS. I was diagnosed with MS in 1980, just over a year after our son, Geoff, was born. He and our grandkids have…

Happy anniversary to us! My wife, Laura, and I are celebrating our 45th wedding anniversary this month. It’s hard to believe, especially because the divorce rate for someone with multiple sclerosis is higher than it is for a healthy couple. A review of records in the Danish MS-Registry a…

Has anyone ever told you to be thankful that things aren’t worse after you’ve received upsetting news? Have you ever felt pressured by others to be grateful, even in the most difficult circumstances? It’s happened to me more times than I can remember. I now understand…

In her poem “In Blackwater Woods,” Mary Oliver concludes with 10 breathtaking lines: “To live in this world/ you must be able/ to do three things:/ to love what is mortal;/ to hold it/ against your bones knowing/ your own life depends on it;/ and, when the time comes…

She held me in a fierce hug. It had been a year since I had held my mother so closely. I rested my chin on her shoulder and silently thanked God. As I looked up, my eyes met hers. I knew what question was coming, along with the weight of…

Photo courtesy of Amy Thompson Day 18 of 31 This is Amy Thompson’s story: In April 2018, just after my 21st birthday, I was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting MS. My whole world was turned upside down and I couldn’t find anyone I could relate to. That…

Photos courtesy of Daana Townsend Day 16 of 31 This is Daana Townsend’s story: My name is Daana Townsend, and I was diagnosed with RRMS in March 2004. I was 23. My mother and aunt also have MS. My treatment journey started with Avonex…

Last night, as I was grumpily prowling through a pile of overpriced red and white striped hats looking for one that would fit my fifth grader, I asked myself, Why exactly am I doing this again? I already knew the answer. The next day was Read Across America Day,…

Photos courtesy of Hayley Crowther Day 1 of 31 This is Hayley Crowther’s story: When I look back at the year I got sick, I’d just celebrated my 30th birthday. I was living with my husband and 7-year-old son, had a job I loved and, just four weeks prior…

This is disturbing and, unfortunately, not surprising. More than 50% of people with advanced multiple sclerosis reported they’ve been mistreated by a family member or friend who cares for them, according to the results of a survey published last September by researchers at the University of California, Riverside. Much…

Ah, timing. It was early Saturday afternoon on Feb. 13, and my wife, Jane, had just flushed the toilet for me. The doorbell rang — my flowers had arrived. An early romantic gesture. On the morning of Valentine’s Day, Jane countered with hers, a bottle of Laphroaig Quarter Cask…

Bravado is lost in the blink of an eye. Self-doubt erodes certitude until we find that our default modus operandi is to refuse. Opportunities, happiness, possibilities, and growth seem to pass. This no-risk mentality brings no reward. Chronic illness is a breeding ground for skepticism. We live in a world…

“Open Circle Chat!”  Have you seen the reality TV series “The Circle”? It was first shown in the U.K. on Channel 4, and there’s now a U.S. version on Netflix. It is well worth a watch.  I started watching it because of the psychological…

Women with multiple sclerosis (MS) are not at a higher risk than those without the disease of having pregnancy complications, such as gestational diabetes, requiring an emergency cesarean section (c-section), or having a preterm or stillbirth delivery, according to the results of a new study. Yet, the study’s findings…

I love the car I drive, but I’ve hated going to the dealer to get my car serviced. In the four decades that I’ve lived with MS, my walking has deteriorated to the point where I use a scooter if I have to walk more than 75 feet. If I…

Sexual dysfunction affects more than 60% of adult men with multiple sclerosis (MS), according to a review study. The data add to previous findings showing that more than two-thirds of women with MS also experience these problems, highlighting the importance of detecting and managing sexual dysfunction in…

In a nationwide survey of caregiver abuse and neglect among Americans with advanced multiple sclerosis (MS), more than half of respondents reported some form of mistreatment, with psychological and financial abuse being the most common. Having a caregiver with a mental illness was the greatest risk factor for mistreatment, the survey…

I am often so preoccupied with the daily maintenance of MS that I forget where the disease ends and I begin. It is too easy to lose our identity among the myriad challenges that accompany a chronic disease. I am the queen of juggling chaos, but that often leaves…

It all started on the hottest day of the year here in the U.K. My phone said it was 99 F. An old friend was coming over, and my youngest son, Jack, had kindly cleared a route to the garden. So, when she arrived, I took the route. We all…